At a certain point this year I figured something out. Life is better if you can learn to be happy with "so far, so good". It's a struggle - it doesn't come naturally, or at least not to me. I have to do things to manage my focus - I have to consciously and demonstrably highlight happy circumstances and events, so making them into something that can't be as easily overshadowed by uncertainty or despair.

A glass of wine for a good result on a recurrent miscarriage exam.

Two mooncakes for a successful transfer.

A special dinner for a heartbeat.

And a good deed for every week that goes by where I still have enough left to give.

Adsense wrote me a cheque for my Fifty Good Deeds campaign, and I feel like the money is ours. You read and clicked, and you helped me get by from one deed to the next. I couldn't have done it without you, so I want you to tell me where the money should go. I didn't raise great, gaudy piles of money, but there's a little over USD $100, so I'd like to donate it to several charities, keeping an international focus. Please leave suggestions in the comments, and if I'm still confused, I'll set up a poll later.

I guess I will often be tempted to worry over the uncertain future. But this week I think I can feel him move, and that deserves some sort of celebration.

P.S. Awards Ceremony post at IIFF.


Jess said...

CONGRATS on the movement! That is wonderful news, Bea. (Though it never stopped me from worrying, right up till the end of this pregnancy, either, so you're not alone.)

Exciting times, no? Hope and prayers for you and baby.

Geohde said...


Bea, I admire your ability to focus on the positive aspects. It is so easy to simply zoom in on the bad stuff..


Vee said...

That is certainly something to celebrate ! Great news indeed.

I wish I had clicked more, I kept forgetting about them. Some suggestions from Aus. you could donate to the Cancer Council,CanTeen, Starlight Foundation, RedCross to name a few.

TeamWinks said...

Definitely worthy of celebration all the way around! Well done Bea and co.!

Stephanie said...

So excited that you have felt some movement. A huge reason to celebrate for sure! It will only get more frequent and stronger. :)

Heather said...

You rock.

I would like to suggest:

Photographers donate their time and talent to photograph deceased children with their families.

megan said...

much cause for celebration all around.

here's a charity i like:

it's mainly US in focus, but they're branching out to India and possibly other places. they were a great help to the people of new orleans post katrina. you may want something more international in scope though.

Samantha said...


As a charity, I would like to recommend Water Partners International:
They have an international focus and are filling a very important need in charities. I've given money to them, and good friends of mine actually met do to their work with Water Partners and got married.

Pixxiee said...

How wonderful to feel him move. So exciting. Enjoy the positive stuff, and take care of that wee boy!

Rachel Inbar said...

Some sort of celebration? You brought tears to my eyes!!! :-)

I hope you'll be feeling him move more and more in the coming days!

Congrats on finally getting your check :-)

Anonymous said...

I hope you take a little time to celebrate YOU.

Great job, Bea.

Sarah said...

what a lot to celebrate, congratulations!!!

Jenna said...

I love that you were able to raise any money at all and that you want to use it so selflessly.

I have to give some thought as to where it could best be spent, but just the idea is beautiful!

The Town Criers said...

Congratulations :-) What an incredible project, headed up by an incredible woman. I'd like to put in a plug to March of Dimes for fundraising. I'm going to be doing the walk again this year and it's coming up (I think in March or April, though) or you could donate through their website.

I also second Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep--it seems like a fantastic organization.

Pamela Jeanne said...

Well done... and thanks for the very important reminder to look outside of ourselves. Appears as though you have some good charitable recommendations rolling in here. You set a great example for all of us to emulate.

Bumble said...

Great, exciting news on feeling him move, how special, it only gets better from here on. And congrats on the 50 good deeds! One of my faves is always The Sea Shepherd.

singletracey said...

Yeah on feeling him move around!

Beagle said...

Feeling him move must be quite a thrill (and reassuring too).

I like

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

Horray for movement! That most certainly deserves a celebration!

Lut C. said...

Congratulations on your success with the 50 good deeds campaign!

How exciting that you can feel movement! Definitely worth a celebration!

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