Your shiny new husband has just arrived home from overseas, and I knew you were keen to start a family soon. That's why I invited you to view our private blog. So you could remain informed and make your announcement to us at the most appropriate time possible. So my husband wouldn't find your announcement in his inbox an hour or so after learning our latest loss was an apparently normal son.

We've been together for fifteen years and I can still count on one hand the number of times I've seen him cry. I appreciate you did try to protect me, but it's not enough.

Why didn't you accept my invitation? Why didn't you read the blog first? Couldn't it have waited another week?

I gave you the opportunity - why did you turn it away?


38 Comments

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Oh, Bea, I'm so sorry! I can not understand why people do the things they do, but I've found that despite all the education you try to give people on this stuff if they've never expereinced it they likely won't be considerate of it when they are beaming with their own good news. I won't say they're all like that, but the good ones are few and far between.

Beagle said...

Oh Bea, how upsetting!
Hugs to you both.

serenity said...

Oh Bea.

I am so sorry for both you AND Mr. Bea.

*hug*

Reproductive Jeans said...

I am sad and angry for you...I am so sorry for the insensitivity of others...

Krista said...

Bea that is just awful, on all accounts. I am so sorry to both you and Mr. Bea.

Hopeful Mother said...

Oh, no. Oh, no.

It's especially upsetting since you've given them an opportunity NOT to be inconsiderate, and it was ignored...

I'm so sorry.

megan said...

Bea, i'm so sorry for you and Mr. Bea.
humanity never ceases to amaze me, and not in a positive way.

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

Oh no. Peple can be so ridiculously insensitive!!

I am so sorry...

thirdtimelucky said...

I'm so sorry

Chris said...

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry for their insensitivity.

Aurelia said...

Yeah, this one is in the unforgivable category IMHO. If they have the opportunity to be considerate and don't bother, well hell, I just don't understand that.

I'm so sorry.

Vee said...

Some people are just purely selfish.
They just don't give a shit about others.

Lut C. said...

Sigh, that's so sad.

Patience said...

That's just awful, I'm so sorry... I have come to the conclusion that there is a rather large percentage of the population that is just plain stupid

Bumble said...

I'm so sorry Bea. That's the last thing he needs to see at the last moment he needs to see it. I wish she took the time to read your blog, I'm sure it took alot to even offer it up to her and all for what? Plain insensitive of her. I'm sorry x

My Reality said...

Patience is so right. There are many people who are just plain stupid.

I am sorry you and Mr. Bea had to deal with this.

Jess said...

:(

People suck. And friends and family sucking are the worst. So sorry.

Baby Blues said...

Oh Bea, it's so infuriating. Some people just don't get it, even if we try to make them understand. It's just exasperating to even try.

millie said...

I'm so very very sorry. What an insensitive person.

Twisted Ovaries said...

I have nothing I can add that others haven't already said, but I can tell you that you are loved, and you are not alone.

ms. c said...

I'm so sorry, Bea. The insensitivity of others will never cease to amaze...

TeamWinks said...

Oh...Bea. I'm sitting here staring at the blinking cursor, but there just aren't words. So...very...sorry.

Thalia said...

Oh bea, I'm so sorry, your poor husband. Some people don't deserve the luck they were born with.

Becks said...

This is just the pits...hope you are both ok.

Kris said...

Oh, Bea... I am only just catching up after a while. I am so sorry about your little boy. And having to go through a D&C. And the insensitive timing of a pregnancy announcement. I am so sad for you all. Hugs.

Jason and Samantha said...

I'm so sorry. ((hugs))

Mel said...

I'm sorry Bea.
I don't understand people sometimes.
(((HUGS)))
Mel

Pamela Jeanne said...

Damn. This would have just about put me over the edge. Whatever happened to the human in humanity...this was definitely inhumane. So sorry you and your husband were sucker punched.

The Momcaster said...

NOBODY gets IF till they've had it.
so sorry this had to happen to you.

Gil said...

Insensitivity is one thing. But DELIBERATE insensitivity is quite frankly, sabotage. It is so damaging to the soul when you have a close friend or family member who deliberately ignores your counsel when your counsel is given so that you can protect yourself and your own relationship. I am so sorry that you and Mr. had to deal with this. Like so many aspects of IF, it isn't fair. My heart goes out to you both.

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I am so sorry Bea. Sending hugs to you and Mr. Bea.

Piccinigirl said...

Oh, Bea.
There are no words for how insensitive that was and I am so sorry for you and Mr Bea.

My hugs to you both

Matthew M. F. Miller said...

Bea, I'm so sorry you experienced such insensitivity. My wife and I have been trying to conceive for over a year now, and it's amazing some of the lame things people ask/say.

Just remember that it benefits NO ONE to keep that bottled inside. Seriously, if someone isn't nice to you, call them out. Put your own feelings first.

Heather said...

I'm still thinking about you Sweetie.

Anna said...

Bea, I'm so sorry. That just sucks.

Sarah said...

it is true that they don't get it, but they could at least try. a "friend" who was invited to read mine once instead asked loudly and publicly if i was pregnant yet at a particularly down time. why couldn't she be bothered to have just checked first? it's a double whammy when on top of your own loss, you open yourself up to someone and they do not accept the offer.

projgen said...

I'm just always amazed at how clueless people are. I've mentioned before somewhere, how someone I know who *went through* all this crap, suffered so much, was finally blessed with a child, and STILL said to me, "this is going to work, I can FEEL it."

I don't know what she was feeling, but it wasn't my cycle working. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, Bea.

GLouise said...

How upsetting, I am so sorry.

I think I have only seen my husband cry three times in our 11 years together, and it broke my heart each time.

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