You can stop now.

Beta is falling. I'm glad we held out for a definitive answer.

SOB thinks that, due to the size of the pregnancy and the falling hCG, there should be no problem with a natural miscarriage. He thinks tissue testing, in the light of previous test results (eg parental karyotyping), is unlikely to yield useful information, and we would be better off waiting and doing an endometrial biopsy "when everything settles down". And I had to admit the logic to his suggested approach. But I told him I was keen to pursue any and all avenues of investigation, despite the lack of compelling reasons to do so, and screw the cost/benefit analysis, and did he see any problem with that and he said no, so we are booked for a D&C tomorrow morning, with results in 2-3 weeks.

I still haven't heard from my family. I'm really grateful for all your comments.

That is all.

**Update**
Parent situation resolved. Explain later.

**Wed Update**
Went smoothly.


46 Comments

Kris said...

Oh, Bea, I am so sorry.

Jess said...

I hate your family right now.

:(

I'm so sorry. But closure, you know? And I'm with you...glad you're going to be doing all the testing you can.

I'll be praying for you tomorrow, dear.

ColourYourWorld said...

I am sorry Bea.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow.

Rachel Inbar said...

I'm so sorry. I hope the d&c goes smoothly.

I'm guessing your family is at a loss for words. Only my mom and two friends were really in touch with me after my miscarriage and they have a very special place in my heart.

I will be thinking of you.

p.s. The 'Trixie' comment from yesterday was also from me... I had started a blog about my MIL
under a pseudonym and when I couldn't remember my login, I tried one and that's what came up.

Anonymous said...

Bea, I am so very, very sorry.

My thoughts are with you tonight, tomorrow and for as long as you need.

Baby Blues said...

Bea I'm so very sorry. I'm hurting with you. Praying for you tomorrow.

Dramalish said...

I'm sorry, Bea. I hate that you are going through this. It's so incredibly unfair.
-D.

Mandy said...

Can this get any more painful? I am so deeply sorry for your loss.
I have no words.
Only a big warm reassuring hug across the miles for you.
*sniff*

Sarah said...

i'm so sorry. i'm really glad you insisted on the testing. although science does like the most likely outcome, a good scientist will always search for answers reagrdless of how likely they are to be found. i hope you get some answers.

KarenO said...

I'm so sorry Bea...

ankaisa said...

I'm so sorry it had to end this way. I sure hope there will be some answers for you!

Anonymous said...

I'm so so sorry for your loss, but I'm glad that you are seeking definitive answers. I hope the results help speed your journey!

Anonymous said...

Bea... This is awful. I am very sorry. You are in my thoughts.

TeamWinks said...

Damn. I wish there was something I could do. It's as if somebody close to me has lost a family member, and there are no arrangements I can make, no phone calls, no flowers to send, no cookies to bake, no hugs to be given...just me feeling so sad for an amazing woman many miles from where I am, who has dreams that deserve to be filled.

I'm thinking about you, and am so very sorry. Let's hope the testing will bring a very small silver lining, and perhaps a bit of healing.

Samantha said...

I'm really sorry, Bea. Thoughts and hugs to you.

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I am just so so sorry Bea. You are in my thoughts.

Krista said...

I am sorry Bea, I was hoping this was going to work out. I am glad that things are resolved with the family, you need family at a time like this.

Baby Blues said...

Glad the parent situation is resolved. Rest well and recover soon.

Carrie said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through all this. I've been lurking and hoping for a while now. I hope the investigations throw some light. Wishing you peace.

Nicole said...

I am so very sorry. I wish there was another outcome. Get every test you can. I am a huge proponent of knowledge being power or at least strength.

I wish I could give you a great big hug.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I am so sorry, sweetie. Words are really failing here. But know that you're in my thoughts.

I hope the family situation resolved in a way that gives you support.

Sending you a hug again across the Pacific. You know where to find me if you want to vent later.

ms. c said...

So sorry Bea. Thinking of you.

The Momcaster said...

i'm so sorry but i bet you're sick of hearing that.
i hope your d&c goes well.
I'm glad to hear the parental thing has been resolved.
hang in there!!

carrie said...

Oh, Bea, I am so very sorry. Holding you and Mr. Bea in my thoughts.

Hopeful Mother said...

I'm sorry, Bea. We all wanted a different result for you and Mr. Bea.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Watson said...

Bea,

I am so, so sorry. I do hope the family situation is resolved so that you get some much-needed support.

Thinking of you, dear.

xoxo

Serenity said...

I wish I had the words to convey how sorry I am, Bea.

The words just come out sounding so... trite.

Please let me know if you need ANYTHING.

Love and hugs to you.

Kir said...

I am so sorry, I have no words.

just thinking of you.....

Amy said...

I'm so sorry. I hope you get some answers that can help.

Carol said...

Big virtual hugs to you Bea. Everyone else has already said it - so I echo all of their words. You will be in my thoughts.

Ms. Perky said...

very sorry for the falling beta, but I'm sure you're grateful for a definitive answer. Best of luck with the D&C.

JW said...

Sending you a big bear hug Bea. I'm so damn sorry. You'll be in my thoughts today xxx

Mel said...

I am so sorry Bea. I was so hoping for a happy ending. I am very sorry I haven't commented too.
take care Bea
((((((BIG HUGS)))))

ultimatejourney said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

M said...

Bea- I'm so sorry.

It's just not fucking fair....

x

Jules said...

Sorry just doesn't cut it, but I have no idea what else to say. I really thought things were looking up this time.

I am glad you are having the testing. Hopefully you can find something out.

Oh Bea, I wish there was something I, we all could do.

Please take care.

Thinking of you

xo

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

I am so very, very sorry.

I can relate to how your family has been acting. Mine is the same way: either they are too intrusive or they avoid topics entirely. It is exhausting because I have to find the courage to explain what a happy middle looks like.

I agree with you: get all of the answers that you can! Even if the tests simply help you to find a little peace.

Warner Stander said...

So, so sorry. My thoughts are with you - your family may not be supportive but please know that there is people supporting you.

queen said...

Hoping you find comfort and hope somewhere. I hope you have some support IRL as well as here in the intertubes.

TeamWinks said...

Going smoothly doesn't make it hurt less. Still thinking about you.

Cibele said...

I am so sorry Bee.

Sunny Jenny said...

Bea, you have my sympathy. I am so sorry for your pain. Please know you're in my thoughts. XXOO

Aurelia said...

Bea, I'm so so sorry about this. Crap, this is unfair and horrid.

I don't know if this is helpful, but this is a service and a website I've used in the past. They do fetal pathology to diagnose the causes of pregnancy loss, beyond karyotyping.

http://www.earlypath.com/earlypath/intro.html

She found out the causes of my miscarriages after the chromosomes came back normal and the Drs. threw up their hands and had no clue what to do next. Your hospital or RE may have someone local who does something similar or you can consult her.

If you want to see a copy of the reports I had done as an example, I don't mind sharing them. Just email.

JW said...

Glad it went smoothly. I hope you're okay. x

beagle said...

I'm so sorry Bea. You're in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

How did I miss this? Bloglines never showed a new post.

I am so sorry Bea.

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