**Added alert commenter question here.

The Barren Bitches Book Tour is in some ways like a high school English assignment, so I'm using the same time-honoured technique I used back then. That's right - up past bedtime on the night before it's due, looking at the questions for the first time ever. And so many thoughtful questions have been provoked by Niffenegger's compelling tale, I hardly know where to start. Nevertheless, I will.

**Spoiler Warning - parts one and two contain spoilers in the question or answer - if you want you can skip to part three**

Henry's ability to time travel is both a blessing and a curse. What do you think Niffenegger was trying to say about human anomalies in general and how can Henry's ability to time travel relate to medical conditions such as deafness or infertility?

As a bleeding-heart, citified liberal, I prefer to think of human anomalies in terms of compassion and the triumph of human civilisation over the nasty, short, brutishness of nature. But there's a more utilitarian argument for pulling together and helping those whose problems don't, from society's viewpoint, seem worth solving. The idea crops up in several places - Cube, that high school biology lesson where you discussed sickle cell anaemia, and most recently "Survival of the Sickest" by Dr Sharon Moalem - a pop science look at the hidden benefits of human imperfection, and something I purchased today, far too late to be of benefit in answering this question.

During the story, Henry's condition saves his life, earns him a living, and causes his disability, infertility and death. Having found the answer to his infertility, it seems the only thing he lacked to swing the benefits firmly in his favour was control, and his daughter managed to achieve that in much greater degree. The message seems clear - don't be too hasty to condemn that which deviates from the ideal. Persist, overcome obstacles, hang on to the silver lining.

Due to his ability to time travel and jumps into the future, Henry knows that he is going to die. Yet in the beginning, he works hard to try to create a baby with his wife. This situation obviously benefits Henry in that he gets to parent Alba for a bit before he dies. This situation also benefits Clare since she wants to be a mother. Yet Alba grows up without her father yet with his extraordinary abilities - abilities that were a difficult adjustment for Henry growing up. Do you think he acted in the best interests of his child when he helped create her knowing that he would not be around to help her understand her ability to time travel? Do you think it is truly possible to take the feelings of a child in mind prior to creation as well as fulfill your own need to parent? If you had been in Henry's shoes, would you have created this child knowing she would be able to time travel and you would not be there to help her understand this anomaly?

Firstly, I think the question misrepresents the situation somewhat (whoever wrote it can beat me up in the comments!). Henry knows he has never been visited by a version of himself older than forty-three, but he also spends a great deal of the book seeking a cure for his "chrono-impairment", so although he and Clare are worried, there is no proof of his impending death until after the conception of their daughter (and in a certain sense, her birth - his daughter is the one who breaks the news to him). Forty-three could have been the age at which his doctor eventually gave him the magic solution. Couple this with his unusual ability to parent Alba after he dies, as well as before, the other people in Alba's life who understand the condition (her mother and doctor), and Henry's own history of getting by without these advantages, and the action of creating a child in his situation doesn't seem too irresponsible at all.

The fact is, in some sense, I am in Henry's position. I have a family history of breast cancer, and there is a chance I may pass a predisposition on to my children, and then die without first helping them come to terms with it. There was a point at which I wondered if it was responsible to bring a child into this world under the circumstances. But it's impossible to predict what obstacles we'll face and how things will turn out. I could use my genes, and everything could end up just fine, or I could opt not to use my genes, and in doing so create or uncover a whole new set of problems, perhaps worse than before.

Life is not about avoiding whatever risks you can see. Life is about managing risks. It's walking that fine line between responsibility and acceptance of fate. It's hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. It's realising we need to work as a community to give and take and share the burdens. I feel Henry, and I, made reasonable choices.

I love the references to music in this book. They are a convenient way for the author to clearly define the era the narrative is taking place in, but for those of us who can't time-travel, music and the times in which we listened to it play a powerful role in constructing memory. Which is to say, that it is almost impossible for me to think about our experience of infertility without thinking of "The Waters of March" as performed by Susanne McCorkle. Mel's written about this in the past. I also think about going with Mel to see Bruce Springsteen concert right when we started TTC and just being so certain that there was a child in-utero at the concert with us. There wasn't. Or not one that became a viable embryo. For that reason, I hardly ever listen to The Rising, which is the album Bruce was touring behind (The Seeger Sessions however is awesome and on regular rotation). That said, what are the songs you associate with your experience -- even if they have nothing to do with IF?

Less than a week ago I was in a taxi coming home from the appointment in which SOB confirmed our latest pregnancy was over. As we pulled into the traffic, a song came on the radio: "One Fine Day" by The Chiffons. You know how it goes. I've got a feeling if I ever want to feel again like I did that moment, all I'll have to do is get that playing on the stereo.

Finally, a question for the alert commenter. The book is about a couple and the life they build together despite difficulties including infertility. It's told from the viewpoints of both Henry and Clare. Yet it's called "The Time Traveler's Wife". Do you feel that reflects on the way infertility is handled within society? What would the story of your relationship/infertility be called?

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Hop along to another stop on this blog tour by visiting the main list at Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters. You can also sign up for the next book on this online book club: Waiting for Daisy by Peggy Orenstein.