At least you know you can get pregnant. You're not supposed to say it, and if you haven't been there I wouldn't even try, but it's true. Emotionally, of course, a miscarriage is kind of sucky*, but if you look at it strictly from a clinical perspective, the news is good. Because here's the thing: if you don't get pregnant, you can't have a baby**.
The corollary, of course, doesn't hold. Try it: if you get pregnant you can have a baby. It's ok, I'll wait til you've finished choking on your coffee, it's my fault, I should have warned you first. You see my point, though. Nothing's a guarantee, but the ability to get past that magic step is a start. That's one of the points MD*** made this morning, when I spoke to her. She also said we'd covered most bases with our testing already, it was great we'd found nothing wrong, and whilst they could certainly do other tests we were getting down to some real rarities and she didn't expect anything out of it.
And she said, which has improved my outlook immensely, that despite Jester's chromosomal normality, the problem is still most likely to be with the embryos. It seems I missed an important point somewhere. We've all heard that OHSS increases the rate of abnormal embryos, and I, for one, tend to think of abnormalities in terms of genetic problems. But an embryo can also have metabolic and developmental defects, and OHSS can produce these, too. Therefore, IVF/ICSI Mark II - now with 50% reduced FSH! - could make all the difference. Plus or minus heparin injections (not for its blood thinning action but for its immune modulating properties) depending on how we all feel about it on the day, because why not it shouldn't hurt.
"Does that make you feel better?" I asked Mr Bea.
"Well, does it make you feel better? Because I'm really only concerned about your feelings, having none of my own what with being so manly and in control," he replied, looking profoundly relieved. (I didn't mention his little outburst at the cafe the other day, his reluctance to address the subject late last week followed by his newfound sense of despair and pessimism over the weekend, the - whisper it - brief and uncharacteristic teariness... well you get the idea.)
The plan is to await the next cycle, monitor for ovulation using peesticks, and book a biopsy in Sydney with MD ten days after LH surge. Then, since I'm there anyway, she's going to order the usual panel of blood tests even though everything else will almost certainly be normal. Results will take a few weeks, which might be just in time to start stimming again from the very beginning.
It sounds like a very good place to start.
--
*There's no use trying to describe it properly.
**The pithiness factor was too low on: "If you don't get pregnant, you can't have a baby, except through adoption or surrogacy, obviously." I mean no disrespect.
***MD - for "Miscarriage Doctor" - is how I'm going to refer to the woman I had a telephone consult with this morning.
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Hi Bea,
I'm glad you got a plan, and some answers, and I really really hope they all help.
Is this the doc I'm thinking of? Or another one?
Hi Bea,
I am a long time reader, first time commenter. I wanted to write to say 'yes, do try the heprin'.
I had success with it after 2.5 years of IVF (6 stim cycles numerous FETs). While none of the blood tests showed any obvious immune issues, I pushed for it and my doc was kind enough to agree.
Of course you can never say for sure that that is what lead to success (could have just been luck of the draw), but it seems quite probable in my mind.
hopeing it has the same outcome for you.
Hey there Bea. I hope it makes you feel better too. At least now you've got a plan in action and thats a start isn't it. Enjoy the break, your next one will be starting before you know it xxx
Well.. a plan is good. So sorry that this has been a hard road. I can relate to Mr. Bea, my husband had a real hard time dealing with our miscarriage and with the emotional fallout he felt afterwards.
Plans are good, I like the idea of starting a fresh.
I am excited for you.
What do they look for with a biopsy ?
I think "sucky" is a pretty good word for it.
I do love a plan, and I'll love it even better when it comes together.
xxx
Having a plan is always helpful, especially after such a painful time. Best wishes to you and Mr. Bea.
I'm with the other ladies that it's great you have a plan. Now, let's hope this plan yields some great results.
sounds like you have a sensible doctor, which is wonderful. I hadn't heard that stuff about metabolic issues with the embryo, very interesting. I wonder if the fact that I've always had to stim for such a long time before egg collection also is a factor in the 2 miscarriages I had?
Studies say long stims have the same pregnancy rates (I had a longer stim, too). I didn't get specific information on the mechanism involved in causing non-genetically-related loss of embryo quality, unfortunately.
Bea
I *had* heard that OHSS can cause defects in embryos, but I hadn't heard the specifics of why. That's interesting.
Another cycle sounds like a good start for sure.
It's all kind of maddening, isn't it?
My take on it all (for what it's worth) is that it's all a game of chance. If you have the money, time, fortitude, you're bound to win eventually. I hope that's true anyway.
I for one dropped out but I would have tended to stay in the game myself if I had any of the above three factors left in me.
I admire your endurance and I wish you a reward for it all in the end.
God, I hope this comment made some kind of sense.
I also vote yes for heparin.
The hematologist I went to described Lovenox as an insurance plan in some cases. It can't hurt, but it can protect this very emotionally expensive investment. It can also protect against things like IUGR down the line.
I'm glad you have a plan in place. I wish you didn't have to be returning to Oz for another cycle. But I'm glad you have a plan in place.
It's good that you have a plan. I hope that said plan gives you some answers and some hope for your next cycle.
At least there is a plan now. There's certainly some peace (albeit limited) in that. I will be watching closely!
Hey, Bea:
It's so difficult to live your life as a series of 28-day cycles in which hope swells, hope recedes, and you start all over again.
I'm proud of you for keeping your head about you, and for getting a plan in place. In the end, we all have to find a way to live beyond those frustrating cycles: literally and figuratively.
Keep your chin up - we're here for you.
I'm happy to hear you with a plan, but still so sad for you that you're even having to do all this again.
But there is hope.
I'm thinking of you.
Glad to hear you have a plan, and that you're not giving up. I always felt better with the next plan in hand - so hopefully this help you feel better too.
A plan is good. So is the testing the MD will do, even it all it does is ease your mind.
There is nothing wrong with a plan, unfortunatly mine suck lol. Good luck sweety.
As all the others have said a plan is good.
I'm smiling to myself about your husband being "so manly and in control" since mine is showing signs of being far from this.
All I can say is that I admire and look up to someone who has been through so much with bravery and courage. Hope all your dreams come true very soon Bea.
That's really interesting about the OHSS. Sad, too. I'm glad you have a plan for moving forward.
"At least you know you can get pregnant." I know this sounds completely irrational, but those are words I would have loved to have heard. As you say, one has to demonstrate that one's body knows how to get pregnant to know that having one's own baby is even possible. Sigh.
Hugs and Prayers going your way!!
Sending my support as well. Plans are good. They allow us to focus. Thinking of you and your Mr. Bea.
Eric
I'm convinced that the heparin was the difference in my last cycle. I hope it will do the same for you!
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