I'm not entirely sure what To.ri A.mos had in mind when she wrote "Taxi Ride" for her album Sc.arlet's Walk. Sometimes with To.ri, I'm not sure if she does herself. But I'd like to think she'd approve of this interpretation.

Many of the song's lyrics speak to me about the journey of infertility. We've all been pushed too far... Even a glamorous bitch can be in need... Just another dead fag to you, that's all... It's certainly a long ride, I know it's not me at the wheel, and I can see the metre ticking. I'm sure you can read plenty more in yourself if you look at the full lyrics below.

But it's the chorus I keep coming back to. Every reason we have to hope - the opportunity to do IVF, our ability to fall pregnant at all, the friends and family who help give us the strength to make it through - I truly am glad you're on my side. Still.


There are just shy of 175 photos in this slideshow (I can't remember exactly how many I used, but I know I only have a couple left of the 175 I collected). I'm a little nervous about what you might think of the way I've used your photos, so let me say here and now - if there's any objections, just write and I'll be happy to set things straight.

I've used the negative peestick in the foreground to indicate how large infertility can loom in our day to day lives; how it can become a recurring theme. Photos were provided by Vanessa, Max, Vee, Melissa, Knitbrarian, Sunny Jenny, Mel, Serenity, Mands, Stephanie, Samantha, Pamela, Teamwinks, Dramalish, Patience, Baby Blues, Ankaisa, Buchiko, Jamie, The Momcaster, Schlomit, and Rachel (and I hope like hell I haven't forgotten anyone). They depict life all around the world, from Europe and America, to Australia, Asia, Africa and the Middle East.




Lily is dancing on the table
We've all been pushed too far
I guess on days like this
You know who your friends are

Just another dead fag to you that's all
Just another Light missing
On a long taxi ride
Taxi ride

And I'm down to
Your last cigarette and
this "we are one" crap
as you're invading
This thing you call Love
She smiles way too much but

I'm glad you're on my side, sure
I'm glad you're on my side still

You think you deserve a trust fund
Just because you want one
Sure you talk the talk when you need to
I fear the whole world is
Starting to believe you

Just another dead fag to you that's all
Just another Light missing
In a long taxi line
Taxi line

And I'm down to
Your last cigarette and
this "we are one" crap
as you're invading
This thing you call Love
She smiles way too much but

I'm glad you're on my side, sure
I'm glad you're on my side still

Lily is dancing on the table
We've all been pushed too far today
Even a glamorous bitch can be in need
This is where you know
The Honey from the Killer Bees

I'm glad you're on my side, sure
I'm glad you're on my side, sure
I'm glad you're on my side still

Got a long taxi ride
Got a long taxi ride


36 Comments

TeamWinks said...

Well done! It was perfect!

carrie said...

That was wonderful. Wonderful.

Mands said...

It was sad and beautiful at the same time. Isn't it amazing how real life makes for the best movies? Well done Bea! I loved the song choice BTW.

Rachel Inbar said...

Bea, you did forget me, but you did an incredible job. I was wondering what you'd do with all the pictures. It's beautiful, especially the end... I hope everyone still struggling has that ending :-)

Pamela Jeanne said...

Powerful. Love the music and imagery. Thanks for taking the time to bring it all together...!

sharah said...

Bea, that video is the most perfect representation of how IF takes over your life. No matter how good things are, there's still that feeling of "but I'm not pregnant". And no matter how bad things get, "I'm not pregnant, and that makes it even worse."

Thank you.

Jules said...

Great work Bea.

I Love your choice of song.

twistedovaries said...

It was beautiful. It was a privilege to help you.

You made me cry, but in a good way.

The Town Criers said...

I don't even know why, but I started crying watching this and now I can't stop. I just had to take off my glasses and wipe my eyes because I couldn't even see the screen. I love what you did with the photographs. It's a very powerful mesage.

ms. c said...

That was amazing, Bea. It's so true- IF is always there.
Thanks for this and for organizing everything. I love it.

GLouise said...

So True!

Well done!

Piccinigirl said...

now I wished I had sent the pics I picked...that was just wonderful. Thank you so much for doing it and sharing it with us.

serenity said...

I love this... what a great way to weave us all together.

Gorgeous.

My Reality said...

Amazing job, Bea.

Patience said...

I tell you something B- not a lot brings tears to my eyes; but you've done it.....

I feel like part of a community, a group of awesome, inspirational women from all parts of the planet (I think I feel a post coming on)--

Thank you my friend.... xxx

megan said...

very powerful, Bea. quite wonderful. i'm a weepy mess now too! :)

Vee said...

That was fantastic too. What a great montage of life.
Music choice was perfect.

mommy2miracles said...

the song and the images put together told the story perfectly...thank you

Baby Blues said...

It's beautiful! I got teary eyed. It brings us all together. The struggle with infertility is truly universal. Good job.

Sarah said...

awesome! i love it! i love the way it reflects our global community. i love how it makes me feel we are all different in lots of ways, but all connected. i love the triumphant way it shows that life goes on. i just absolutely love it!

RTTguapa said...

love it! love it! bravo! my husband and i love "taxi ride" - and you've given it a new meaning here.

such a simple concept for your film, yet so powerful. and as baby blues said, the use of the pictures brings us all together... amazing really, if you think about how physically far away we are from each other.

IF is universal!

one thing that struck me while watching - aside from getting all giddy when my pictures popped up - was that inspite of everything that IF does to us, we just keep living our lives, doing what we have to and love to do.

thanks a lot!!

Sunny said...

I love this! It just sums it all up!

Samantha said...

Wow. I love it, and it brought tears to my eyes.

Bumble said...

Lovely and heartbreaking too. Well done Bea, I feel disgraced that I didn't do anything for it. Maybe next year I will?!!!?!

Chelsi said...

Wow - LOVED it. That song has always reminded me of IF too, weird. I know Tori struggled with it, so I wondering if that's what she was going for when she wrote it.


Great job!!

DD said...

I have no other word, but Wow.

Wow.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Brilliant!! I'm kicking myself right now for forgetting to e-mail my pics. I love this song!!!!

Mel said...

That was so great. Love the song too, you did an awesome job Bea.

Isabel said...

Great film. Very moving.

sariel & shlomit said...

Wow Bea....we've watched it a bunch of times (sariel and i) and it's so beautiful...simple and moving...thank you for making this!
peace
shlomit

ps...some of the pics are from Canada, too!

Lut C. said...

Great slideshow!

es said...

So moving. I cried.

Anonymous said...

Just chanced across your blog. I also did the flights from Sing to Oz to acheive our preg. (3IVF and 3FET) Just wanted to say congrats and good luck. K

Bea said...

K - they told me at the OB they've had a few expats from Oz going back and forth from their clinic for IVF over the years. Glad you finally made it.

Bea

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

I just watched both of your videos and want to tell you that they were amazing! And it was especially comforting to see pictures of places that I have been...knowing that I have walked the same steps of many of the inspiring bloggers in the IF circle helps me to feel more connected to them and to the circle itself.

I know that there is much to be sad about, so much to worry about (especially for you right now), but please allow yourself a bit a joy for the wonderful ways you have touched other women through your videos.

Thanks!

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...
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