We think you should take a break and walk away
Turn your back but live to fight another day
You're still young and you have so much time!
Relax! Kick Back! And just unwind!

There's no use in rushing forward so hopelessly
Maybe this is just how life was meant to be
You will get there - this I think you'll find!
Relax! Kick back! It all takes time.

This whole year we've not known what to say or do
We feel helpless watching what you're going through
Maybe if you stopped then we'd feel fine?
Relax! Kick back! All in good time!

***

Now, I don't want to sound ungrateful. A lot of you have been very supportive of my decision to take a break and I'm still glad of that. But then I guess I feel you understand the double-edged sword that taking a break can be, emotionally speaking.

In real life, however, I'm started to get a little... irritated by the unbounded enthusiasm the "break" idea is being met with. As if doing another cycle is actually bad news, but taking a break is an unmitigated relief for all concerned. This lead to a bizarre phone conversation with Mr Bea in which I actually beat a note of hesitation and disappointment from the confused and well-intentioned man.

(You can see how things went. "A break? Yes, absolutely - I totally support that idea.. No no, whatever you think is best... Really and truly, yes... Well, I mean, it's you're body, you're undergoing the procedures, I just think the decision has to be in your hands at the end of the day... Ok, I don't understand why you're getting upset with me... Well what do you want me to say, Bea? 'Stay at home, wench, and be my breeding slave so as to produce me an heir whilst I galavant off around the globe'?")

It's just nice to know someone else isn't wholeheartedly enthused about stopping treatment. Even if the stop is temporary, you know.

So this morning, inexplicably and without the aid of any premeditation, I woke up with the beginnings of the above song playing in my head. Unfortunately, I think I've lifted the melody line from somewhere, but until the day we hit Broadway or London's West End with "Infertility - The Musical" I don't think anyone's much going to care.

Stick around - I might try to give you a squeaky rendition in a few days.


4 Comments

Lut C. said...

Poor Mr. Bea, doing his best to say the right thing, only to find it still isn't quite right. At least it seems he has a sense of humor about it.

I took a month off, and only decided to do so at the last minute. I wanted to keep doing something, must plod on, but I really needed to recharge my batteries.

Due to all kinds of circumstances, the break was very relaxing. In other circumstances, a break might be just another stress factor.

Anonymous said...

Bea, I too loathe breaks.
Forced or chosen breaks, they're all shit.
As you know, I'm in the middle of about 3 months worth of waiting & I bloody HATE it.
I want to be crazy on drugs, I want to be traipsing to & from the clinic every few days, I want to be waiting the news if embies are surviving etc, etc.
There is nothing that will cheer us up, while being on a "break".
Except for when the time comes to start yet another cycle (that you secretly think is doomed for failure - at least, that's what I do!).

I got the whole "you've got to be positive! If you think it won't work - it's bound to fail".
FUCK OFF!!!!
What a load of rubbish.....

Whoops, sorry.
I've hijacked your blog!

Anonymous said...

Yes the wait is a killer !
You could always do another "time" series :)

Look forward to hearing the rendition. The lyrics are perfect.

Jules said...

A break is good to recharge your body, but can be a physiological disaster for the mind.

During my 6mth break, it was great to get the drugs out of my system. No need to worry about what time to stim or how much to sniff.

But I just wanted to get back to it. I want a baby & after 3yrs of not getting a BFP naturally, I know it wont just happen. At least when your cycling, you have the hope that it may just happen.

Our DHs are damned if they do & damned if they don't. They try to be their for us, but when we don't know what we want from them, how can they help us.

Your lyrics are perfect Bea. You are a true writer.

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