My mother said to me last week, "You know, before you lot were born, I used to hope you'd have interesting lives."

"You didn't read much Chinese philosophy in your youth, did you?"

"I have lived to see the error of my ways."

Happily, my life has become much more boring overnight. My hormone levels yesterday were at baseline, so the two things on my ovaries are clearly non-functional cysts, and today's ultrasound showed them already collapsing. I have started FSH injections. We'll see what's happening in six days.

--

During the past few months I have been surprised to find my status as an IVF patient changing. Someone described me as a "veteran" and various people have started calling me "brave". On the one hand, I'm not sure I qualify as a veteran if I'm only up to retrieval number two, but on the other, it is my seventh IVF treatment cycle counting FETs and retrievals which never made it to transfer, and if you add on the two IUIs it's fertility treatment cycle number nine. Nine sounds big.

But I still wasn't ready to think of myself as anything other than a slightly tarnished newbie until I met my original IVF buddy at the clinic this morning. A former colleague from work, she started her first IVF cycle a mere week ahead of mine. And she's having her first back-on-the-bandwagon transfer for number two in a few days. I'm currently wavering between jaded self-pity, and smugness about how hardcore I must be.


16 Comments

Bumble said...

I'm glad they were only cysts and that you're well on your way now. And yes 9 is alot, you've gone through alot so far, but I hope your journey is nearing its end now.

Geohde said...

Yay, that's what I had my bets on.

Good luck with the stims!

megan said...

i have to admit that i don't even know if it's a good thing that what was on your ovaries are/were cysts. it sounds like things are progressing though if you are proceeding with injections(?). my ignorance aside, i hope the next six days brings good news.
i don't know about the "veteran" label but i would certainly go with "brave." you seem a very strong and brave woman to me. nine is a lot. i can't even begin to imagine. i hope nine is your lucky number.

My Reality said...

I would call you determined.

Nica said...

Not pitiful, obviously bored and, after 9, deservedly smug.

Bumble said it best. May your journey be ending soon.

Brave. In a good way.

Oh, and you forgot GIVING.

Sarah said...

9 is pretty hardcore, although reality's word is much better. you know you're hardcore though when ovarian cysts bore you.

and YAY about the cysts!!

Bea said...

Megan - FS said that as things stand the cysts are indifferent, so it's the best possible outcome. Of course, not having cysts is better, because then you don't have any confusion.

Bea

Patience said...

All sounds good, glad the cysts are buggering off.

It's kind of weird when we start feeling (and acting?) like battle-worn soldiers...

Samantha said...

Whew, I'm glad things have returned to boring old normal!

It's funny how you make the transition from newbie to veteran. At least for me, I always thought of myself as a newbie, until last spring when I started saying things like, "well this happened on this cycle, and that happened on that cycle, and a third thing happened on another cycle, etc." Then you realize there's no denying it.

I also like My Reality's term.

GLouise said...

You are definitely brave in my book!

Piccinigirl said...

I think you are one of the "bravest" women I know...I'm glad it's just cysts, you're on your way now.

maybe 10 is the ONE, I really, really hope so.

Lut C. said...

Wow, and I'm still bummed at being lapped by fertile people. I'm such a wimp.

I'm glad you've gotten the go ahead.

Beagle said...

Glad it's a go ahead then . . . Good Luck!'

I knew I was no longer a newbie when I started getting comments of sympathy, bravery, and even pity from the clinic staff. By the time I left, even the RE said nice things about adoption. (Or maybe she had just made her last car payment?)

Seriously though, you ARE brave and I so VERY much hope it pays off for you!

Jules said...

Jaded, brave, strong, determined, veteran, tough nut.

I remember after my 2nd or 3rd cycle writing about these women & how I could not even imagine how they find the strength to go on. Now I am one of them.

Fingers crossed, that we will both be ending our roller coaster ride of ART very soon, with a happy ending.

Vee said...

Yes like the others I hope that the end is near.
Glad they are cysts, now they can just piss off !

I think nine is hard work, perseverance and desperation. Desperate in a good way. How much do we want our pot of gold at the end of the rainbow ?

KarenO said...

You're a very brave veteran that does not believe in giving up. And that adds up to being a champion in my book! Good luck with starting the stims :)

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