First of all - pretty good band name, no? Ok! Moving on.

I remember the first time I drove in the UK. I was waiting patiently on a side street, blinker flickering, when an approaching vehicle flashed its lights at me.

"Hey!" I said indignantly to Mr Bea. "That guy flashed his lights at me for no reason, the arsehole!"

"I think he's letting you in."

"Oh." I turned the gesture I was about to perform into a friendly wave, and pulled smoothly into the line of traffic. Later I learned the correct response is to flash your hazard lights in thanks.

Other things I learned whilst driving in the UK: when changing lanes, indicators can be used to signal your desire to do so. The correct response is to drop back a bit and make some space. In Queensland, indicators are used in this situation as a warning to get the fuck out of my blind spot or you're going to get swiped off the bitumen, you smug, roadhogging bastard. The correct response is to beep aggressively, make a rude gesture, and tailgate the "offending" vehicle dangerously all the way across town, even if, originally, you were only planning to go as far as the local shop. Also, in the UK there is no such thing as a "traffic jam". It is a "queue" in which one is not stuck behind cars which are in one's way, but rather patiently awaiting one's turn.

This week, as my good deed, I decided to bring a little kindness to the roads of my hometown. I was courteous and tolerant. I did not beep or swear. I let people in front of me, even when I had right of way. Some of them are still recovering from the shock.

The deed became particularly arduous this morning. At 6:30am I was congratulating myself on being timely and organised. One hour later, I was making the following phone call:

"Hello, day theatre? Yes, this is Bea. I'm meant to be there now, but instead I'm sitting at an intersection watching the lights go through yet another sequence which is entertaining, but not really getting me anywhere fast. No, I wouldn't call it a "jam" more of a "queue" really. I'll be there as soon as I get my turn."

You'll be pleased to know my patience was eventually rewarded, and so richly that I am extending my Whinge Amnesty beyond the promised several days all the way to the end of next week. We lost no embryos. Of the pair they thawed, one is doing ok, one well. This is enough to bring me - quite literally - tears of joy.

As we all know, I will soon start wanting more. A pregnancy, for one thing, then - I don't know - a baby or something audacious like that. The ungratefulness! Also, because sometimes we all like a bit of warning before a bitchslapfest, I feel I should tell you I am considering an end-of-amnesty post whose working title is: Holy Fuck, What About Twins? Then again, by next week I doubt I'll feel lucky enough to write that.

Thanks so much for your support so far. Drive safely.


serenity said...

I love this post-- often if I feel like I want to give back to the universe (I almost typed uterus - my mind is clearly elsewhere!), I tend to be kinder and gentler in traffic.

Then there are days like today when that b*tch driving her shiny new Merce.des SUV literally pushed me off the road to get in front of me. I had to stop myself from hitting her with my piece of sh*t Volks.wagen. But for sure there were obscenities, rude hand gestures, and tailgating after the incident. (I think she got the picture.)


About the embryos, Bea - great news. I know, no expectations, but still wonderful news. I am happy to hear this.


Anonymous said...

I am so happy to hear you have 2 embies on board. I hope they stick around for the ride.

Vee said...

Sounds like Sydney traffic to me.

Exellent news. Great to hear you have 2 embies on board. Hoping the patience will last the 2ww for you....but not likely hey ?

Buchiko said...

Hi Bea! Thank you for stopping by my blog page. Please feel free to drop by anytime! And of course you may link to me. As to your other question .. I'm afraid I'm not as into the procedure thing as everyone else is. Check out my recent blog for more info. Thanks again!! Hope to read more from you =)

Mands said...

So happy to hear that you have two little embies that are doing well/okay. Sending lots of positive thoughts their way!

Bumble said...

Yes Bea, what about twins. You can hope. Its great news they're both doing well, so its damn well possible!!

OMG, your comparison about the drivers in QLD cracked me up. LOL!!!

Baby Blues said...

Love the road "unrage" idea. I still get surprised looks when I let others pass and when I patiently wait my turn.

I hope those embies get cozy and settled on board and bring us good news!

Heather said...

Congrats!!! Two is awesome news!

Sunny Jenny said...

LOL- The traffic stuff is so funny!! I am husband is from the UK and he complains all the time about American drivers and the lack of using our turn signals! I can totally appreciate your post!

You're in my thoughts!

sharah said...

Ooh, karma's a lovely thing when it works in your favor.

My good deed is to always return the grocery cart to the designated spot rather than leave it in the parking lot. Someday I'm going to be rewarded for that, I'm sure :)

Ellen K. said...

So glad to hear the thaw report. Wishing you the best, as always.

projgen said...

Hang on embies, embies hang on! Wonderful time for a lovely thaw, no?

All good vibes heading your way.

carrie said...

oh, hooray for the embies. much luck, bea. may the good deeds from your unrage and anti-whinging be repaid to you a million-fold.

Hopeful Mother said...

Sounds promising with the embryos!

Love your UK driving story... gave me a giggle.

Beagle said...

I loved this post! I hope all these good deeds come back to you twofold (twins, yes twins!)

ms. c said...

Loved your driving description! What a wonderful good deed. I'll let you rub off on me a bit, and next time I'm out I will follow your lead.

The embie report is sounding good. Hoping, hoping, hoping... (i'll hope for you if you hope for me- deal?)

Sarah said...

really REALLY funny post! thanks for the laugh!

and congratulations on your thawed pair!! i'll add my hopefull thoughts to the pot...

Carly said...

Yay Bea, yes have twins & then you can give me one *wink*!!

I totally understand you crying at the news they'd thawed well. I literally bawled my eyes out too, in the front foyer of a major Sydney hospital - noice!!

Watson said...


Congrats on the good thaw


And may all continue to go well.


Meri-ann said...

I think Aussie drivers are arseholes no matter what state they're in- but usually they're just in my way....

Great news on the defrost.. x

Lut C. said...

Yes to the road gallantry!

I mean, great news about the embryos!
Fingers crossed!

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