We had our gross morphology scan. Already! I know. There were no nasty surprises - everything looks fine. And I can announce that the baby is... either a boy or a girl. They certainly seemed to think it was one or the other.

I don't know how many of you recall the day we found out the sex of the Prata Baby, but to quickly recap, we were caught completely off-guard by the question at our sixteen week appointment, before we'd had a chance to discuss the matter at all, and after twenty seconds of umming and ahhing, Mr Bea gave a sort of shrug which I interpreted as not having any real opinion on the matter, so I confidently turned to SOB and told him to spill.

Apparently, however - and this would have been explained on my blog at the time if I wasn't so busy having an unnecessary freak-out about the Prata Baby's measurements - that non-committal shrug should have been interpreted as a mere continuation of the series of displacement actions already underway, and if I'd waited for the series to come to a close, Mr Bea would have expressed a preference for not finding out the sex of the baby.

This time, he expressed his preference early. He does not really want to find out ahead of the birth. And given that I had my way last time, I have ended up letting him have his way this time. So we don't know.

I have mixed feelings about this, the most prevalent of which is ambivalence. All the important bits - the bits that contribute to ongoing life and health - appear to be present, in the right places and proportions. What else is there to care about?

On the other hand, I do admit that it took a while to re-orientate myself after finding out that PB was a boy. I had it in my mind (I realised afterwards) that we were having a girl. Probably this impression was born of a) a dream I had and b) the slightly noddy "logic" that if Jester was a boy, then the next one was sure to be a girl, 'cos, boy, girl, boy, girl... you know. Although maybe Twin A was a girl, I'm not sure. In any case, it's not that I was disappointed to find out PB was a boy, it's just that it kind of felt, all of a sudden, as if there was a stranger in there, instead of the baby I'd been expecting. It took a few weeks to "get to know" him all over again. I was glad that happened during the pregnancy, rather than after the birth, and I'm feeling ever so slightly nervous about having to do it after the birth this time.

On the other hand, it seems very fitting to leave it shrouded in mystery. This baby has already given us the shock of our lives just by being there in the first place, and we really have no idea how it happened. It's our surprise baby, in more ways than one, and as long as they're all good surprises, I can be happy to roll with each and every one.


11 Comments

Jules said...

OMG!! I am so out of the loop.

Congratulations Bea. xo

Caro said...

Good to know that everything is as it should be. I'm way too nosey to not find out the sex of my baby - not sure what I would have done if S didn't want to know.

Cibele said...

I am so glad to hear that everything is okay with "surprise baby"... at the end of the days this is the only thing that matters. I really admire you guys for waiting to find out at birth, I don't think that I could. I was in shock for one week when I found out I was having a girl, I was so sure I was expecting a boy... now I can't even imagine not having my girl!!! Congratulations on a healthy baby!

Lut C. said...

Great that the morphology scan went well!

I never had that instinctual feeling of expecting a boy or a girl when I was PG with Linnea. Or perhaps I've forgotten.

Have you heard about the couple who has been deliberately keeping the gender of their child hidden from the outside world for 2 years, at least? It's reported they clothe the child in girl's clothes one week and in boy's outfits the next.
Sounds like an urban legend.

Just to say, you can take some time to get used to a boy/girl after birth.

Betty M said...

I always found out but then I always had gazillions of scans so at some point on each I figured I would see the details so I might as well get them to tell me. Either is fine anyways! Glad everything still going well.

Vee said...

Wonderful that all is well. I think that is fair enough.
So are we going to lay some bets on? ;-)

Thalia said...

Great to hear that all is well. I most definitely could not wait to find out, I am not a fan of assymetry of information, if the docs know then I should too. Also, I watned the adjustment time you refer to, and it was very very helpful.

But, as you say, could be good the other way, too.

Rachel Inbar said...

I've had it both ways (didn't know with Hadas, one of the twins (I knew one was a boy), and Abigail). The doc gave it away after my having asked not to find out on the amnio with Nomi & I was in shock for a long time - not from the fact that it was a girl, just from the fact that I didn't expect to know what it was...

I did love the surprise at the end (and I consistently guessed wrong) and so when we did find out, we didn't let on & only told people after the birth.

My SIL (due yesterday with baby #8) knew every time, but chose not to find out this time.

Glad all the important bits are just right!

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I understand the desire for surprise; I'm not one of those people (if there's some happy news to know, I want to know it -- and as soon as humanly possible). I think it's lovely to hold onto the way it was done forever -- since before ultrasounds came on the scene. And getting to enjoy that moment of surprise on the day of.

Ellen K. said...

Happy to hear all is continuing well!

I was eager to find out the sex(es) of our twins, but part of that was a 1st-time mother, obsessing-about-nursery-and-shower thing. But now knowing would make baby's arrival even more exciting.

Pamela said...

Hey -- so good to hear from you and Congratulations!!

p.s. If it's a girl, Pamela is quite a nice name ;-)

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