I've always been in the anti-peestick camp. "They don't tell you anything!" I've cried. "If it's negative, you wonder if it's a real negative, and if it's positive, you wonder if it's a real positive! What's the point?" Now my thoughts are this: peesticks tell you very little. But blood tests tell you only a very little more. And then scans, and so on, through the full gamut of prenatal tests, and post-natal tests, and the best you can hope for in the end is to die before the story really ends. So fuck it, right? Pee, don't pee, just take it in perspective.

I'm not yet ready to pee. For now, I'd rather live in ignorance than see a negative. But the time is coming, and soon, when I'd just rather know. Not how it ends - that's too much to ask for - but that I got one/two lines on a peestick, or anything. I'll tell you how it unfolds. (Beta is Monday.)

--

I've got two good deeds for you this week - mine and Vee's. They're kind of the same deed. You see, I mailed off the IIFF prizes last Friday (and don't forget! next festival October 27th, Halloween!) but Vee asked me not to send theirs. Due to strict new diets, Max and Vee are unable to appreciate the Love, and have asked me to do so on their behalves, which I am - with a heavy heart and a tantalised set of taste buds. Naturally I offered a substitute prize, and Vee said she'd feel rewarded if I donated something to either cancer or diabetes.

Point of note. If you run a charity website PLEASE SET UP ONLINE DONATIONS! That aside.

With daffodil day approaching, I was saved. I bought a wrist band whilst waiting for them to process my IVF claim today, and I dropped a little into the online tin when I got home. A bit for Vee and Max, and a little for me.


15 Comments

Piccinigirl said...

just wanted you to know I have been reading and praying and thinking of you very much. I really hope that there is very good news on Monday.

Rachel Inbar said...

I admire your patience... I am keeping my fingers crossed for you for a HIGH positive beta. How are you passing the time (aside from looking for online charities to donate to)? I love the daffodil day idea. I think we get solicited to death by charities here all year round, to the point where you don't even want to donate at all, because they keep coming back to haunt you.

I just saw a local ad for people collecting book bags and school supplies to distribute and I want to get some things collected to take over to them.

Karaoke Diva said...

"For now, I'd rather live in ignorance than see a negative." Tru dat.

Out of 11 cycles, this is the first time I've actually stayed away from the HPTs until 14DPO. Usually by 9DPO I'm getting stick happy. This time I just didn't want to be disappointed any earlier than I had to be.

Lut C. said...

Sweet ignorance! I'm with you on that one.

Mary Ellen said...

I admire you for being able to avoid the pee sticks. We all know that I can't resist. I hope that you get 2 beautiful pink lines!

Vee said...

Ignorance Oh yeah.
Keep away from the sticks! Well done on doing so, so far.

Hoping Monday comes quickly for you with positive results.

Thanks for doing the donation, Daffodil Day is perfect.

GLouise said...

ah, hoping and praying for good results on Monday, so very much.

And...I really really want to participate in the next festival. Do you have a quick link on directions on how to do the movie maker thingy? (I work for an IT company, so you'd think I'd be a bit better at this kind of thing!!) If there's a link or something you could send me easily, it'd be much appreciated :-)

My Reality said...

I hope good things come to those who wait.

Geohde said...

Geez, I hope that test is positive. I admire your resolve when the cycle gets down to the wire.

Sarah said...

really really hoping monday brings you good news (or sooner if you cave to the evil peestick).

Jenna said...

Oh my goodness, I don't think I can take this! I want to look on Monday... and then I don't! I'm so afraid for you. And so damn excited too... AHHHH.

Can't you just wait for a couple of months as see what comes of it?

Sunny Jenny said...

I hear you! I am already having the pee or not to pee debate and haven't made it to retrieval yet! My logic is I want to know something before I get the blood test results phone call. I really hoping this is the one for you! Good luck!

Jules said...

I've never liked those sticks.

Good Luck for Monday. xoxo

Ellen K. said...

I'll be away this weekend to be in a wedding on Sunday, but my fingers will be crossed for you beneath the bouquet. : )

Twisted Ovaries said...

I'm a non-preestick chick myself. I am really, really hopeful for you, Bea.

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