No endometriosis. No endometriomas. No suggestions of cancerous or pre-cancerous tissue. No hyperplasia. No fibroids, no infection, no tubal blockages. No funny looking fluid. No adhesions or septae. No weird and unusual congenital abnormalities. No polyps. No curette, in the end, because he decided he could only make things worse from here.

("Told you so," he said. I was hoping he'd say that.)

There's no cysts, no polycystic ovarian syndrome. No systemic disease of any kind - not with my thyroid, my liver, my kidneys, my adrenals, or my glucose metabolism. No hormonal inbalances. No clotting disorders. No immunological problems, or at least not any he believes worth testing for. No visible problems with our eggs, or the embryos that make it to transfer, and nothing wrong with our sperm that can't be solved using ICSI.

I have no pain (only a little discomfort, but ask me again tomorrow). No explanation for the mysterious spotting or the chemical pregnancies.

Oh, and no baby.


---
An aside on my mother, the dear: she teared up (but fought back bravely) in front of the admissions nurse because she couldn't shake her deep and abiding fear that the comic films I'd borrowed on DVD for my recovery would cause me to laugh too hard and break my wounds open. She chooses the most bizarre things to worry about (shut up, I am not).

Hearing her worry like this has a profoundly calming effect. I toyed with the idea of taking her to all my procedures from now on for this reason, but I really don't think she could stand the stress.


7 Comments

Bea said...

P.S. I'll get back to checking your blogs in a couple of days.

1. I'm at my parent's house without my bookmarks and RSS feed which makes it laborious (but oh so worthwhile, of course).

2. Everyone is out except myself and my mother, and she wants to have a bonding session.

3. I did get all those DVDs out, and I do intend to watch them, whether I like it or not.

Bea

Meri-ann said...

Hmmm... I think I'm glad that there's nothing to see- but I dare say it's a little (read: lot) frustrating. There's definitely an upside here I'm just trying to see it through the frustration for you.
And your Mum sounds like a total love.

Enjoy your dvd's x

Carol said...

that's a definitely good-news-bad-news dilemna. Good to hear that there's "nothing wrong with you". Bad news that they couldn't find a good answer for you. sorry you didn't get some clear cut answer you were looking for.

steph said...

Worried you'll rip open your stitches. That's a new one!! Must be some pretty damn funny movies you got piled up over there!

Glad things went well (even though all the information continues the what the hell cycle of questions). Hope you're recovery goes well and you stay feeling good~

Vee said...

Good news ! But frustrating.

Don't have much to add to what the others have said.

I do want a list of movies though.... I would love a good laugh. Oh and watch out for the stitches, your mums a sweetie.

VanillaDreams said...

Yes, it is good news.... But I second (third, fourth) the thought that I know it's frustrating on some level when you almost would like something to be found, so that it could be "fixed" and you could get the hell on your way with this whole thing.....

They say there is fear in the unknown, but I think there is more frustration in the unknown.

I know I'd be able to make it through each day a little easier if I had a crystal ball and knew when I'd finally be pregnant again, or finally have a healthy baby....

I wish there was a crystal ball for each one of us...

All the best,
Nilla

Thalia said...

Mark me down as the dissenting voice - it's good news/good news that you don't have something like endo that gives you an explanation but is incurable and for which there's no proven treatment. Congratulations on having nothing wrong with you.

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