First, I sorted out the "medical stuff" folder. In it I found receipts for several packets of pessaries I had not yet claimed from our health insurance company. Of course, I had to remedy that. So I presented my receipts to the lovely lady behind the desk, and she looked, and she said, "Ugh - progesterone pessaries. I hated those so much." And she smiled at me. Then she processed my claim and gave me $125 cash.

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With the cash, I bought spotty-dots*. Three colours - red, green and yellow. Red for Stopping Here, green for Going To Singapore, and yellow for Wait, Let Me Think That Over For A Bit Longer. To my credit, I haven't used much of the yellow.

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I then had a lovely chat with the relocation person. She sent me some paperwork, and talked me through what to do with it. My visa application will take about six weeks. She sent my details to the removalists, who will ring me directly to sort out what's going where and when. They may... and this is really exciting... be paying for the relocation of the dog (under our "air freight" quota). Guess I'll stop tossing up whether she can come and start getting her export certificates organised.

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Next, I sat down at my computer and wrote my letter of resignation**.

Dear thingamy thingamy,

I know you're getting tired of fitting in with my IVF schedule, to the point of suggesting I take an unpaid leave of absence until I'm either knocked up or given up. Which was kind of sweet and offensive at the same time. Sometimes I think it's because you're genuinely concerned for me, and to be honest you have been supportive up til now. I know you "struggled" with conceiving your daughter (in that you had to have some fertility testing but fell pregnant just in the nick of time before starting any treatments) and I guess my heart hasn't been in it for the last few months, as far as my job is concerned. So maybe it's me.

Then again, maybe it's you. I would probably be coping better if I didn't have to put up with quite so much shit, and to be honest I disagree fundamentally with much of your management philosophy - something I realised long ago but for various reasons decided to ignore. You actually have quite a high staff turnover, truth be told, and I'm certainly not hopping back out the door in quicker-than-average time.

In any case, my husband lives in Singapore now, and besides, it's high time I took back some control over my life and made a few decisions about where it's going and what's important. So I quit. Four weeks and I'm outa here. Starting Monday.


Sincerely,
Bea


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I think... something in my life is starting to come together.

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*I did have some cash left over. They weren't super designer gold-leafed spotty-dots.

**This is not the actual letter, obviously. I may want to do a few days' casual work for them when I'm visiting Oz as an IVF tourist, in order to pay my trip.

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I also appreciate the comments over the last post. So the photo is going ahead. I'm over it already. Ho hum, it's official - infertility is always going to be a part of my life. That's ok. And my mum deserves her family picture. It's just nice to know you understood.


12 Comments

Jules said...

Bea

I read your post earlier, but didn't know what to post.

I can't believe you're going. Do they have the internet in Singapore?

Make sure you let us know what you're up to.

Who am I going to talk to? Who will make me think about things & analyse them?

Geez, it's like your leaving for good.

I'm rambling again.

Take care Bea.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like the trip has come at the right time. To give yourself a break and get out of a job you weren't enjoying.

I hope you continue blogging. We will need regular Singaporean Bea updates.

So glad things are coming together for you.

Beagle said...

What's a spotty dot?

Singapore should be quite an adventure . . . keep us posted!

Bea said...

Jules - don't worry! - it'll be like I never went anywhere. In fact, there might be more drivel and navel-gazing than ever, depending on my employment status (likely to be "un" or at least "under").

Beagle - spotty dot - one of those little coloured circle stickers you get from stationary places to aid your filing or to eg reward primary school children for a job well done.

Bea

Anonymous said...

Bea, I'm so happy your doggy is going with you!!
I'm a HUGE believer that pets make an infertiles life much easier or at least a little less lonely.

Re your resignation letter:
I fully hate the "strugglers"....
I love the "IVF tourist" name too.

I'm glad you are still going to be online!!

Piccinigirl said...

Hey,
I think I like the letter the way it was written (*giggles*) but it might just be me. :)

Good luck with the sorting and moving and the new adventure , can't wait to take it with you.

steph said...

How long has your hubby been there while you're where you are? That must be tough. May be harder to live together again! I know I miss hubby the first 2 days he's gone on business, then I get used to doing whatever I want. Then he comes back and I have to share the remote again......
I look forward to seeing what you do next as we are both trying to move on from IVF and aren't sure exactly what that means. Sounds like you've got something else to prepare for, which should help give you time to think and process it all.
Keep us updated as it sounds like an amazing journey.

Lut C. said...

Your letters are really useful. I could give that one to my boss, except for the almost IF experience part.

Hopeful Mother said...

Bea, you better keep writing from Singapore - we need you here!

I'm glad you're getting out of that job - may good things be ahead for you!

Bea said...

Steph - DH's been away for three weeks now. Still have about six to go, according to current estimations.

Just to clarify on the IVF front... I'm on a break for further testing and moving countries, but do plan to come back to it next year, by which time my body will hopefully have stopped doing strange things. So a bit different from you.

Bea

lola said...

Bea I have been thinking of you. So many big decisions lately, I wish you all the best. Good luck with everything, really. I hope that Singapore is a wonderful new adventure for you.

Carly said...

Whoopsies Bea....

I've just popped in to check how you are & I've noticed my last comment to you came out as anon!!!
It was me who wrote that I was glad you are taking your doggie etc.

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