A few weeks back I decided, upon suggestion, to buy a goldfish, but instead I came home from the petshop with a pair of baby terrapins. One was never quite as lively as the other, and a few days later she died. The other then started to sicken, but improved again with veterinary treatment. And then went downhill again and this week died also.

I'm telling you all this because I want you to say it with me so I can really hear it: the terrapins are not a metaphor for this pregnancy. They are not a metaphor, and their deaths say nothing about our chances of a live birth.

Mr Bea: It's true - you're actually starting to bulge*.

Bea: Do you think so? Do you like it?

Mr Bea: I like what it represents.

Bea: So you don't like it.

Mr Bea: Is that what I said? I don't think that's what I said.

Bea: You implied that, though you're pleased by the prospect of a healthy pregnancy, the bulge itself is a necessary, yet evil, downside.

Mr Bea: I think you're reading too much in.

Bea: You hate fat women, don't you? In fact, I find your whole view misogynistic. I suppose you think we should all strive, for the sake of our menfolk, to stay super-model thin forever.

Mr Bea: I stopped taking you seriously some sentences ago.

Bra Sizes

Well. I outgrew my Jester bra, bringing me back down to one, so I went shopping again. I'm now an E cup. I'm getting scared. I'm worried I'll run out of alphabet.

The other day I looked across at the trusty old counter and thought... that's 99 divided by seven which equals... fuck knows. So I caved and got a baby ticker which counts in a more comprehensible weeks-and-days fashion. Same place - over on the right sidebar, below the history. For those who would like to keep track. Although, from a personal point of view, the thing is making me feel skittish - it's been over two weeks since the last ultrasound and I'm just not sure what's going on in there*.

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*Unfortunately, through a series of observations, I have deduced that the bulge still consists pretty much entirely of food. The eating of which I nearly have figured out.


megan said...

the terrapins are not a metaphor.
i'm not just saying that, i believe it.

when you hit the letter H can you promise to give us a bit of a show?? :)

DI_Dad said...

I need to check in more often. I am apparently behind in what's going on with you. Sending my best wishes to you two.

Vee said...

Yes repeat after me. The terrapins are NOT a metaphor for this pregnancy.

The bulge IS going to get bigger!

Good Luck on the bra hunt.

Geohde said...

When I was knocked up, my husband had one of those 'my g-d, you look *pregnant*' moments.

I thought he was pleased, but then he asked if I'd cut my running back.


The terrapins are in no way a mataphor :)


Rachel Inbar said...

The terrapins are not a metaphor. You would not have thought them to be a metaphor if they'd suddenly reproduced and had 72 miniature terrapins (hey, I don't even know what terrapins are :-))

I know exactly what you mean about the 2 weeks between ultrasounds. I am lucky enough to have a technician who will literally get me in whenever I want, without even a note from the doctor... So, on a few occasions I took advantage of it, just to make sure everything was OK - especially right before I went away on trips.

Just wait until Mr. Bea feels the baby move. Get your camera ready :-)

Congrats on your new bra(s) & ticker!

Samantha said...

No metaphors there. None.

It probably would never happen, because we live halfway around the world from each other, but it would be interested to get you and my husband in the same room together to see who could outwit each other in the conversation!

Amanda said...

Terrapins are not metaphors. Terrapins are not metaphors. :-)

Congrats on the lower bulge and I hope you're able to reign in the upper ones! <3

BethH6703 said...

the terrapins are not a metaphor, the terrapins are not a metaphor.

Stephanie said...

I love your conversation with hubby. So funny and so like many conversations I have with my hubby. Glad we are not the only ones. :)

Barb said...

Poor DH. Mine goes through similar things during treatments. ;-)

Poor terrapins too! They're not easy to keep.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

I'll repeat because I belive: The terps are not a metaphor for your pregnancy!!

Schatzi said...

Nope, I didn't see even a hint of a metaphor :)

As someone who barely fills out an A cup on a good day, I have to say I am a bit envious of your Es!

Aurelia said...

They aren't a metaphor, in fact, from a practical stand point, it's good they are gone. Because they carry salmonella in their body naturally, they aren't a good pet to have around pregnant women and babies and small children.

And no you won't run out of alphabet letters. Have you looked at Bravado bras? They have a website, they sell in Singapore, and they go up to 46H.

Jess said...

The terrapins are NOT a metaphor. You've made it very very far, Bea. The chances are good. They are good, they are good. Ok? They're good.

It's hard to believe when it's you. I still barely believed it until the other day I stumbled across the info that about 99% of babies born at 34 weeks (where I now am) survive and are fine. I was shocked. Because I was STILL waiting for the shoe to drop. And partially, still, I am.

But Bea, I tell you this because I want you to know that the wory is totally normal. BUT, normal as it is, it's not FOUNDED, and believe it or not, things CAN work out. Prayers for you, dear. Prayers and hope.

mary ellen said...

Congrats on the bulge! Have fun bra shopping!

Heather said...

My mom bought a pair of finches at a pet store and the exact same thing happened. I don't trust pet stores.

Definitely NOT a metaphor.

Anonymous said...

They are not a metaphor. You just got crappy terrapins.

I am sure Mr. Bea will be distracted by your set of E's that he will hardly even notice the bulge.

Carly said...

So sorry to hear of the loss of your Terrapins.

How are you going with Jesters due date coming up in less than a week?

Jackie said...

My husband would say something like-aren't you supposed to be bigger in the belly by now and then the next day turn around and ask me if I weren't gaining weight a bit too quickly. I nipped that shit in the bud. Seriously my man is more fickle than I am and he has a terrible memory for our conversations. I, OF COURSE, have a perfect memory and I NEVER let him forget a word he has said. 8)
I'm still cramming myself into the C cups-and ripping my bra off as soon as I get home. I'll get over my lingerie apathy shortly before I can no longer breathe properly, I assure you.

Mel said...

I had to google terrapin as I had no idea what they were.
The terrapins are definitely NOT a metaphor for your pregnancy.
I can only imagine I will need 2 pillow cases and some elastic to hold mine up. I'm a dd already

Pamela Jeanne said...

E cup!? Whoa! Impressive.

Loved the conversation with Mr. Bea. Mr. PJ has become quite adept at not boxing himself in. Should I get Mr. Bea to give him a call? ;-)

MrsSpock said...

The terrapins are not a metaphor! They're an example of how pet shops in general have sickly animals...

An E-cup? Ay carrumba! I thought my full C-cup, nearly Ds were ginormous...

Mr S loves my bulge, which I know is mostly fat that I and Weight Watchers could never seem to motivate away during IF treatment. He has, however, earned a few punches in the gut from commenting about my "wider butt". Hmpfh!

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