I am not keeping up with life very well just at the moment. I was just about at my limit of business and then I got sidetracked with the whole pet-related tragedy and it all fell apart. I'm also officially in physical discomfort as of today, and just kind of tired and drained, which is making it a little harder to put it all back together. Thanks for all your comments. I'm fine, I'm just spread a bit thin.

Here is the post I wrote between this and the update to it. Mr Bea gets in tonight (or should I say very, very early tomorrow?). And not before time.

--
Unsaid

Sometimes we say more when we stop speaking. When FS first said ICSI, I said donor insemination. "I have a family history of breast cancer," I told Mr Bea, using my trademark rationality. "I don't think it's a good idea for me to be shooting up hormones."

"No..." he replied. "I guess not. But I'd rather adopt than use donor sperm."

"Pregnancy and breastfeeding will decrease my cancer risk."

He nodded mutely.

--

I'm not sure how the following conversation happened. It was just after our first appointment with MD. One moment I was announcing my intention to do another IVF/ICSI, and the next Mr Bea was saying, "I should have made you eat more chicken."

"What?"

"Protein. You wouldn't have been so sick if you'd eaten a high-protein diet."

"But I did! All those protein shakes! I ate nothing but protein!"

"You ate hardly anything at all."

"I ate as much as I could. The OHSS killed my appetite."

"I should have made you eat more. And I should have taken you to the hospital earlier."

"They wouldn't have admitted me earlier. We went to the hospital the very moment I was sick enough to need to go to hospital. It was all under control."

"It wasn't under control. I hardly knew anything about OHSS."

"But I-"

"I shouldn't have let you get so sick!"

For a moment I stopped and stared at him. Then as I drew breath to reply, he turned and left the room.

--

How many entendres does it take to screw in a lightbulb? "It's rumoured," I said to Mr Bea, as we snuggled into bed on the night of the FS appointment which confirmed IVF/ICSI#2, "that frequent ejaculation helps improve the DNA integrity of the sperm for IVF."

"Frequent meaning...?"

"Daily."

"Sounds like hard work." We eyed each other warily for a moment, circling the innuendo.

"Don't worry, I'll give you a hand."

"Uhuh." He shook his head dismissively. "I guess that's fine."

"So you're up for it?"

"I don't have a response to that."

"I could give you one."

"Be quiet! You talk a lot..."

...

.