It's an oft-reported desire: "I wish I could just wake up one day and be X weeks pregnant." X varies from one person to the next, depending on personal history, exposure to the misfortunes of others, and general nervousness of disposition. Some would be happy to confirm rising betas, others want nothing less than a healthy, take-home baby in their arms. Most people want to get past the point where everything's fallen apart before. But one thing we have in common is our collective sigh at the end of this reverie, the one we make as we regretfully admit that it's an impossible ask - a wish that could never come true.

Except, holy crap, I just woke up one day and I was already nine weeks pregnant. And now everything looks normal at ten, and we've never lost anything before that looked normal at ten weeks. Which doesn't mean (she adds quickly, before the powers of the universe can so much as draw breath to say, "There's always a first time,") that things couldn't go wrong from here on in. Heck, some days that still occurs to me even as I watch the two-year-old Prata Baby, formerly known as The Foetus Formerly Known As Twin B, formerly known as Twin B cavort vigorously around the park. Always, forever, each day is a milestone and a triumph. In this uncertain life, it never stops.

Will I be relieved to reach the end of the first trimester? Yes. For that matter, I will be a hundred times more relieved if we get a healthy, take-home baby, or past the main risk period for SIDs. It took a whole 0.000005 seconds in the ultrasound room yesterday to go from "Yes!" to "Ok, now we have to make the next step..." But. But. And yet. We have never lost anything that looked normal at ten weeks, and there comes a point at which you're doing yourself a disservice to wish away those precious moments just to spare yourself from their uncertainties. For us, that point is - about ten weeks. I can't believe that, in addition to falling pregnant without treatment, I got to skip that more-stressful-than-it's-worth first half of the first trimester and just wake up to find it over and done with and everything looking dandy.

I just don't know why we should be this lucky.

I guess luck never has a reason.


21 Comments

serenity said...

You're right. Luck doesn't HAVE to have a reason.

My fingers remain tightly crossed. And I am thrilled that thus far everything looks dandy.

xoxo

My Reality said...

Luck, both good and bad, doesn't have a reason.

I am glad you have fallen on the right side of luck so far with this, Bea.

Vee said...

I am so happy that the pre 10 week worries were avoided for you. And I am hoping that the rest of pregnancy is stress free.

Luck? Who knows? Enjoy being the "lucky" one!

Heather said...

Luck never has a reason...

But, you do DESERVE this happiness and I hope that you will be able to soak it in.

Rachel Inbar said...

I tend to believe in some sort of cosmic powers for good things - that if you give good to the world you make it a better place where good things happen... (I haven't yet found an explanation for bad things, but hey, I'm working on it...) and I'm so happy for you that things are looking good!

I hope many more of your dreams come true :-)

m said...

Eeeek!!! I don't check in for a while and look at what you go and do - yay you!!! Am v v happy! :)
xxxx

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Most brilliant advice ever: "there comes a point at which you're doing yourself a disservice to wish away those precious moments just to spare yourself from their uncertainties."

Pamela said...

Holy Macaroni! Just catching up with your latest news...living your thrill vicariously.

Betty M said...

Glad you got some luck come your way!

megan said...

i just love that you woke up pregnant. i think it's awesome.

Lut C. said...

I've been day dreaming in that direction quite a lot lately. And sighing.

I suppose it takes a while before it sinks in that it's for real!

Enjoy it with abandon, as best you can.

foxy said...

People keep telling me that its in the water. Apparently I need some stronger water than what everyone else around here is drinking.

Could I come to your house to drink some of your water?

You are lucky, my friend. I hope that you can enjoy every single second of this miracle.

Nearlydawn said...

So great! I love your thoughts on enjoying the here and now vs. letting the worries steal the joy.

LeahGG said...

WOW! That's great! I needed some good news today, and I'm sitting here trying not to eep-scream!

Portia P said...

I know how you feel on the whole luck thing.

I spend a lot of time marvelling at our luck but in darker moments, worrying this is too good to be true and that things are going to go very wrong at some point.

Like you said - once past the SIDS milestone would be a good place to be in order to feel (slightly) less anxious....

So (cautiously) excited for you, Px

MrsSpock said...

I've decided there is probably no point in my child's life that I can wake up and now worry. And since the alternative is to wake up dead, and never worry again- I guess where I am now is as good as any.

Caro said...

Wow! Just caught up with your news. I've been seriously slack recently about reading and blogging.

Congratulations!!!!

Thalia said...

I think it's a series of milestones, isn't it? Beta, first scan, next scan, next scan, 12 weeks is it probably chromosomally normal, 20 weeks is it anotomically ok, 26ish weeks, thank goodness it would probably live now, 34ish weeks, thank goodness all would probably be ok now, 40 weeks, thank goodness he/she is here, 5 weeks, thank goodness she's gaining weight....it goes on.

So glad you got to skip at least the first 3! All good is very very good.

LeahGG said...

You definitely get no guarantees. I had an easy time getting pregnant, a mostly normal pregnancy, a minor birth defect that's being dealt with (dealt with including surgery at 3 weeks), and then THREE MORE SURGERIES (unrelated to the birth defect). And this is considered a healthy child. Really!

So... yeah, no guarantees in life... but I'm optimistic...

Ellen K. said...

Here's to the alignment of the stars in your favor. So glad everything looks OK so far!

Sarah said...

wow, you are an urban myth come true!! you are the one my OB is talking about when he insists i should go on the pill (haha!). wonderful wonderful wonderful!!! keep the good luck a comin'!!

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