Short Version: 32wk appointment, hospital tour, prenatal classes, shopping list - all coming along fine.

The Wardrobe Begins

A couple of days ago, we got our first baby clothes. My sister sent them, and they arrived in the mail. One T-shirt says, "If you think I'm cute, you should see my aunt." Apparently she considered, but eventually decided against, writing her phone number underneath.

When I took the clothes out of the package, Mr Bea took them to look at. "They're so tiny!" he breathed. "Are babies really that small?" I had to gently point out the tags that read, "Size 3-6 months."

My mum and mum-in-law also announced purchases, so I gave in and bought a few cloth nappies to round out the mini-collection.

Prenatal 101

Saturday was our first prenatal class. Friday night, Mr Bea asked if there was anything he should have read up on beforehand. "I think the purpose of the class is to learn stuff, rather than to show off your knowledge," I responded. Nevertheless, when I arose in the morning, he was already on the couch studying Breastfeeding Made Simple. I raised an eyebrow at him, and he said, "Hey - this could totally be on the exam."

In this first of three classes, we discussed normal labour, starting with anatomy.

"This is the cervix," the midwife said, referring to her poster. "In this picture it's closed, as it has been since it let through that tiny little sperm who swam up your reproductive tract and fused with the egg to make your baby." Um, yeah, whatever.

There was a run-through of the stages of labour. "Early signs might include nesting behaviour such as cleaning and tidying..."

"That'll be easy to spot," Mr Bea whispered from the corner of his mouth.

"...or irrational displays of emotion..."

"No help there, though."

Lastly, we learned some massage techniques. Mr Bea was instructed in light massage, sacral counterpressure, hip and pelvic massage, head and jaw massage, and various pressure points. "So how did you all feel about that?" the midwife asked when we were done.

"Maybe you should set him a homework assignment for practice," I replied. "After all, massage is going to be on the exam, right?"

The Fortnight Zone

We have hit SOB's fortnight zone. No more monthly appointments for us - the longest I'll go without seeing him from now til the end is two weeks. Next appointment we get to discuss our "birth plan", which in our classes is more accurately referred to as our "birth philosophy". Everything is fine, except that the boy, who is apparently already big enough to fit into newborn nappies, has decided that the normal presentation he's been dutifully displaying on pretty much every ultrasound so far is getting kind of old, so he's trying out breech. We're not to worry about that until next appointment. I think I'll be not-worrying in cat-stretch position, for what it's worth.

Tour of Delivery

After the appointment we went on a hospital tour, and learned all about hospital policies such as immediate bonding and breastfeeding, rooming in, free lactation advice and consultation, etc etc.

"Is it your first baby?" the tour guide asked us, and I affirmed that it was. "It'll be very exciting for you!" she enthused, to which I answered, "Not too exciting, I hope." Everyone laughed except me.

Near the end, we went up to the fifth floor to see the VIP suit where local celebrities and other people who have much more money than we do stay. The fertility clinic is on the fifth floor. A couple excused themselves as they shuffled from the back of the lift through our tour group of half a dozen heavily pregnant women and their doting partners and down the hall in the direction of the IVF centre. Most of the group moved aside absently and continued listening to the tour guide. Mr Bea and I turned to watch them disappear round the corner.

I hope they get here one day.


Magpie said...

Oh, they shouldn't have the fertility clinic on the same floor. That's just mean.

Good luck and an unexciting delivery to you.

kate said...

Oh, I so feel for that IF couple. And it was just so kind of you to notice.

And man. What a funny shirt! I love it!

Lori said...

Oh, I feel for the shuffling couple in the back of the lift.


I'm all for the massage homework. Milk it.

SarahSews said...

Glad things are going well.

As if going to the IF clinic isn't bad enough, but to be stuck in an elevator with a bunch of super pg women? ouch.

Mands said...

Our clinic shares a building with an oncology unit - so when the chips are down, there is a always a reminder that someone else is in worse shape than we are.
This is very exciting Bea. I have really been enjoying all the births that have been going on in the blogosphere, and yours will be no exception :-) I am really proud of you.
Big hugs to you my friend

Betty M said...

Not sure if I've posted before but have been reading. In one of the hospitals I went to the infertility clinic was right out of the lifts and fetal medicine was left. So you got to be with pregnant women whose unborn babies had issues which was pretty horrible too (I've been both ways out of that lift). Glad things are going well.

No Minimom said...

Your hubby has the same smart ass sense of humor mine does. And yeah, this whole thing is so exciting, it's terrifying.

The Town Criers said...

I was laughing and laughing and then that last thought stopped me in my tracks.

Kenya said...

That's so exciting!! I feel bad for the IF couples.

Pamela Jeanne said...

Like everyone else, my heart breaks for the couple who was ignored by all but you ... I know you'll always keep that empathy alive.

Rachel Inbar said...

I felt so much better after the tour. As for a labor philosophy, I wonder what percentage of couples ever gets to make those choices...

I know what you mean about the IVF couple :-(

Isabel said...

The end of your post made me cry. That poor couple, that was us, that was so many of us at one time, for so many of us still.

For me now they're like the ghost of IF, coming around to make me cry and remember how devastating it was to be in their shoes. I hope it happens for them, too, whoever they are. They deserve it.

Caro said...

Your husband and mine sound the same, I'm sure I'd get the same comments about cleaning and irrational outbursts.

MrsSpock said...

One thing about my clinic I despised was that it shared an office waiting room with an OB group, complete with preggies, newborns, the newborn channel on TV, and parenting magazines on the tables. Many a silent tear rolled down my face in that waiting room. At least that couple had two sets of sympathetic thoughts with them as they ran the gauntlet.

Geohde said...

That poor couple...

As for the description of How Pregnancy Happens...heh. I wish!


Thalia said...

In my antenatal class they had a series of rings which showed the sizes of dilated cervixes (cervices?). The 10cm one was a little shocking!

Hope Mr B is getting his practice in.

Ellen K. said...

Odd that you posted this, because just the other day at ER, which is at the back of the clinic, I was reminded of the thankfully-quickly-cancelled TV show "Inconceivable" in which the IF clinic and labor & delivery floor appeared to be one and the same, and thinking how crappy that would be.

It sounds like a good hospital otherwise.

LOL at your thoughts on conception!

Portia P said...

I loved your post. It made me smile several times.

My husband is also prone to cracking constant gags.

I really feel for the couple at the IF unit faced with a horde of pg women. That stinks.

Glad things are going well - how exciting to be getting so close!


LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

Clearly, set-ups like that are not created by anyone who has dealt with IF....

Ooh, now I know Mr. LIW and I will have to take one of those clases (assuming that Little Life makes it to the home stretch, knock on wood!!). I want him to learn massage techniques and I want someone to tell him that he should use them often (guess that means I should call the person in charge ahead of time and/or slip her a little extra cash)!

Glad you are doing well. Luckily, there is still time for the baby to change positions.


Steph said...

I got that shirt for my godchild.

Cibele said...

I am glad that things are coming along fine. Yay for buying baby’s clothes!!! I went to my pre admissions visit as well, but I had to postpone the class because Dh could not make it...
Did you like the idea of the man shower??? your husband should have one! LOL
PS: I totally missed the post that you're announced you're having a boy!!!! \My baby girl is also breeched

Bea said...

Actually, I've been thinking about the VIP suite, and I wonder if it's on the same floor so celebs can pretend to be visiting someone rich and/or famous when really they've come in for treatment?


Bumble said...

Hi Bea, been trying to catch up on everyone and I'm so excited to see how far you are now, not long to go now. Also, the last bit about the couple brought me goosbumps and teary eyes, I hope they get their baby too x

Piccinigirl said...

wow, it's 32 weeks already, holy *&^% that went fast and I am so happy to be catching up with you.
Happy everything is going along as it should and your sense of humor is still intact,:)

it must have been surreal to see that couple, I am always so aware of other people and the way they look at the boys, when I know they are IF, I always try to give them the warmest smile possible, as if to say "I've been there"

let's hope the next few weeks are very uneventful and the BIG EVENT is just exciting. :)

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