Short Version: complaint story about a restaurant's chef.

Sometimes I forget to specify that I want my meat well done on account of the pregnancy and the parasites and so forth, and sometimes the wait staff forget to ask. And sometimes I mistakenly assume things, like that crumbed, fried fish will come thoroughly cooked.

This is no problem.

But when I apologetically explain that I should have requested it well done in the first place and could you humour me by just please putting it on for a little longer til it's cooked through because, you know, doctor's orders, the long-term welfare of my unborn child, etc, there's something I want you to understand.

I don't care, chef, if you feel insulted for some unknown reason.

I don't care, chef, if your "professional opinion" is that this is how the fish is supposed to be cooked.

I don't care, chef, if the fish will end up tough, or dry.

I don't care, chef, if it will take too long (and thanks, by the way, for deliberately making me wait forty minutes until others had finished and were getting restless before serving my revised meal, and I hope that made you feel better about your inadequate penis size).

I don't care, chef, if you send the dish backwards and forwards from the kitchen via an increasingly uncomfortable and apologetic waiter with fresh arguments as to why I should just eat it like it is.

I don't care, chef. I don't care. Why would you even think I'd care?

You see, I'm too busy, monsenior fricking chef, considering the fact that I don't want to risk ingesting live parasites that might cause permanent disability to my child. It's what you might call an "overriding concern". If you think I'm going to stop caring about that for long enough to bow to your overly-weighty ego (or perhaps your insecurity complex?), then you are profoundly confused in your thinking.

And just, like, deeply, freakishly stupid.

And a prick.


22 Comments

Rachel Inbar said...

Too funny :-) Was it edible in the end? Perhaps even good? Did you give the chef the URL to your blog?

Bea said...

It was good in the end. Moist, succulent, tasty, and *cooked all the way through*.

I was just astounded that this guy thought he could bully a pregnant woman into eating raw fish. Based on, you know, his professional chef's opinion against my professional obstetrician's opinion? And it's not like I ordered the sashimi and then asked for it cooked - I ordered it crumbed and fried.

Baffling.

Bea

Vee said...

A prick indeed! Glad it was worth while in the end.

serenity said...

Good grief. A total prick.

I am glad though that it tasted good when you did in fact get the meal back, cooked the way you wanted it.

TeamWinks said...

You've got to be kidding me. Talk about trying to throw his weight around. Glad you triumphed, but what a pain in the ass.

Bea said...

I promise I was really nice about it, too! The waiter seemed to be on my side...

Bea

The Town Criers said...

Is that the point that you turn the plate into a frisbee and aim it for Mr. Chef in the kitchen?

Jendeis said...

Yeah!

Jess said...

"and I hope that made you feel better about your inadequate penis size"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Fish, especially. Ew.

I had a similar experience with a steak when I was pregnant. I was like...NO REALLY, do you SEE THAT I'M PREGNANT? Ok? Thanks.

Perhaps people who just get pregnant mostly don't care/don't know such things? I don't know. I would think....

I'm glad it was edible, though!! :) You should have gone back in the kitchen and smacked him.

kate said...

BAH! SHAH! WTF??? I'm indignant for you! Who in their right mind either serves undercooked fish (I suppose with the exception of sushi style, but whatever...) OR questions the wishes of their *guests*, much less a PREGNANT guest??? WTF??? I'm seriously just dumbfounded by this.

beagle said...

damn him!

Bea said...

Kate - exactly. As if it's not bad enough simply that he's getting pompous at a guest of the restaurant about their food choices.

Bea

ms. c said...

He had a small penis?
;)

Kenya said...

Too funny!!! What an ass.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Yeah, what a prick! When he saw you were pregant he should have just let it go!

Aurelia said...

Number one rule of restaurants that are successful - the customer is always right. Number two rule - see number one.

That said, I can't remember if it was Kate or Bon who posted about this, but due to the way that fish is flash frozen on giant trawlers out in the middle of the ocean within minutes of being caught, there is no concern about raw fish and pregnant women. It's sort of a weird myth that took hold years ago, that cooking is the only thing that can get rid of them, when freezing works as well, and really there is no such thing as raw freah fish anymore, even in tokyo, unless you see it live in a tank at the restaurant and pick it out yourself.

Should he have given it to you anyway, cooked precisely as you asked? Absolutely! You are the one paying the bill.

Just know that you are in no danger if happen to eat a piece of sushi by accident, or if you did get one undercooked at some point.

Cibele said...

I cant believe it. The customer should always be right! He is a prick indeed

MrsSpock said...

What a buttmunch. The thought of eating fish has always been revolting to me- so I can't say I've run into the same problem. The customer is always right, though.

Geohde said...

Yeah, you're right.

Total prick.

Clearly with a very small penis.

I only hope they didn't spit in your food or anything nasty.

Sorry you encountered such a fool.

J

m said...

What a fuckwit....

Lut C. said...

Good rant!

The nerve of some people!

GLouise said...

What a jerk! Guys like this are the ones who give male chefs such a bad name.

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