Short Version: Other people comment on my pregnancy.

The woman at the local roti prata shop pointed to my belly and said, "Seven months." Then she waited, watching me keenly to see my reaction. "Close," I said, doing a quick weeks-to-months conversion, and she grinned smugly. I suppose this means I look roughly the "right" size, whatever that is.

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I met someone I hadn't seen for some time. "What's this?" she asked. And then she added, "Well done!"

Well done? I've always thought "congratulations" was pushing it slightly. Congratulations sits more comfortably with exam results or career achievements in my mind. Congratulating someone on their pregnancy seems a little like congratulating them on being tall. Nevertheless, it's the word we use to convey what we actually mean, so I don't spend much time thinking about it. But "well done"?

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Last Sunday, someone asked how far along I was. When I said twenty-nine weeks, she exclaimed, "Oh! So the baby could be born any day now!" I replied that I was hoping for a good 'nother month or two, thinking, holy fuck - did I just say as little as a month? "Babies come when they're ready," the woman counteracted sternly. Don't I know that, already.

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**Actually, I have another one:

This guy who works at our apartment praised me for going out and doing the shopping on foot. "Exercise very good," he said, giving me a big thumbs-up and an encouraging smile. "Very good for pregnancy. Just slowly, slowly - don't fast, lah. Very good!" This, and a few other comments (like the ones about how healthy I look) make me feel as if I'm gathering a little cheer squad around me, chanting, "Go Pregnant Bea!" as I enter the home straight. Which is very nice, but of course I need it now far less than I've needed it over the last few years. Mental note: must try to encourage others more randomly. It's hard to tell who really needs it.


14 Comments

Jess said...

That people ever suggest that babies should be born before, say, 36 weeks is amazing to me. There's more pregnant ladies floating around jumping the gun before 36 weeks wishing the baby would come lately than I care to count. Hey people, that's pretty darn premature.

Did 35 weeks, thought it was cool myself, too. Spent 8 days in the NICU with Ava with breathing tubes and feeding tubes. :p

Isn't it weird? People are amazing to me with what they'll say. I mean, come on. A nurse at the hospital just this last week said to me and Trav, "Don't you know how to turn that machine off?" and we get the similar "Do you guys not know where babies come from?" a lot. Yep. We know. We. Know.

Rachel Inbar said...

If she'd seen me, she could have said well done (in the steak sense of the word...)

Either I'm trying to make myself feel better, or the statistics are right. The vast majority of babies are born after 38 weeks. I found my easier ones to be the ones born later (and my earlies was born at 38+5).

Samantha said...

I think 29 weeks is a little early for "any day now" too. Hoping for another good month, and probably two for you!

kate said...

Yeah, there are times when I realize that I need to throw out a few more random compliments. I wore a dress to work a couple of weeks ago, and I'm a slacks and sweaters kinda girl. You would've thought I sprouted an extra head or something from the way people reacted. But anyhow, I walked through that day feeling like I was a mther efking runway model, even though I'm SOSOSO not... But anyway, it brought it home that positive comments can make a person feel really awesome (SINCERE comments, that is. I have a co-worker who compliments every single person that comes in to our office on really weird and random things, and you can tell that she's just being cheesy, and it comes off really badly.).

You can totally count me as another member of your cheering section.

Mands said...

Gimme a "B" Gimme an "E" Gimme and "A"!!!

Yes, I think a bit of cheerleading is in order. We will always be surrounded by simple people who say simple things, and then there are those who give us comfort and hope without even realising it.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

I got "any day now" back before 29 weeks, but that was because this person thought I looked big enough to be 9 months. I think the weeks thing confuses people sometimes.

The well done comment peeves me. So, when you aren't pregnant and want to be implies you must not be doing something well, huh?

Schatzi said...

"well done"? hmmmmm.

Wow. 29 weeks. Very cool. I am wishing you AT LEAST 6 more weeks of cookin'.

MrsSpock said...

I'm as far along as you and people are always telling me, "you must be ready to pop any day!". More a comment on how large I am than anything. 29 weeks is way the hell too early...

Beagle said...

"Babies come when they're ready," the woman counteracted sternly. Don't I know that, already.
***
What unites all nations, cultures, people? ASSVICE!

Good to know!

You ought to have told HER "Well done!"

My Reality said...

I hope the baby doesn't decide to make an appearance until he is well done!

The Town Criers said...

It's just amusing that people feel as if it's their place to comment.

I had a great one once. A woman behind me at the supermarket asked what I was having and I said, "a boy and a girl." And she grabbed my hands and started crying and said, "I'm so excited! We're having twins!" Um...I'm having twins. You are buying grapefruit. And I'm going to go inch over to the door right now...

Cibele said...

the comments that aggravates me the most lately is: is the baby moving a lot? (They always ask on the days that I am sick and worried that she is not moving a lot). The other question is: Is everything ready???? Just adds on to my anxiety...

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

Pregnancy is the topic on which every person thinks he/she is an expert.

I am the type of person who believes that complimenting others (in an honest way, of course) is a really nice way to show interest in - and concern for - the person. I agree 100% that we should compliment others more instead of saying such inane things like those that were said to you....

XOXO

Geohde said...

It's amazing the random assive that I get slapped with now I'm pregnant.

That and every horror story about pregnancy gone wrong that the advsier can think of. ALmost never do I get to hear about anything that has gone right.

J

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