So this morning, when I woke up and rolled onto my back, I noticed something weird. My abdomen was bulging slightly below the belly button. I touched the bulge lightly, and it felt round and solid.

"Hey, look at this!" I whispered to Mr Bea, presumably worried I would scare the bulge away. "I'm bulging!"

"I can't see it."

"There!"

"Nup."

"Put your head on my chest and look down."

"Oh yeah..." And there we lay for a moment in silent awe. "Why is it off to one side?"

"Dunno. Full morning bladder?"

Then, as we watched, the bulge began to move. Alien-like. Freaky. And, also, strangely unassociated with any uterine-type cramping, yet the sensation was not altogether unfamiliar...

"Wait a minute," I said, and I went to the bathroom to, um, empty my bowels. When I got back, the bulge was gone. We had been excitedly observing my colon.

Sort of takes the romance away.


27 Comments

Heather said...

If I had been drinking, I totally would have something spilled all over my keyboard right now! Too funny!!

serenity said...

Oh my. TOO freaking funny...

And it makes me wonder if that mass I felt last night was not, in fact, our Squishy.

In that case, I kept a hand on my colon for a good long time. :)

Beagle said...

Maybe it was Mr. Hanky (Southparks's infamous Christmas Poo) making an early appearance?

(Can I also just say that I am envious that you are slim enough to see this sort of thing? My abdomen is much too padded for peristalsis to be visable on the surface!)

Amanda said...

That is hilarious! I love it!! Hahaha! I'm with heather on the drink issue...chuckle-snort.

At least you're having good bowel function...hahaha! :-)

mary ellen said...

:-) Too funny Bea

megan said...

i find myself frequently rubbing my intestines affectionately. . . i'm gathering that it's part of the early process!

Caro said...

LOL!

Stephanie said...

oh that is so funny!

Samantha said...

I never thought about it, but I guess the colon does cross the front of the body... that is just too funny!

The Town Criers said...

I'm still laughing...

TeamWinks said...

That's too damn funny!

Geohde said...

Bea, you may scoff at this, but...

By eleven weeks when I lay flat I could feela hard bump when I lay down.

By the morning, my full bladder would push it up and often slightly to one side. There was no mistaking that it was a fundus.

You'll find yours soon enough :)

Hope that I get another go again soon, playing spot the Ut was fun!

J

Karaoke Diva said...

LOL!
Awww, you have the cutest little colon! ;-)

Schatzi said...

heeheehee. Thanks for the giggle!

Jess said...

hehehe!

Vee said...

That is absolutely hilarious !!
Thanks for laugh.

Mel said...

Oh Bea, that was funny.

Jenna said...

Oh my gosh, that was the funniest post! I wasfeeling all sad and envious at the beginning!

You crack me up lady.

Sarah said...

hahahahahaha!!!! but i actually do think your full bowel was pushing your ute up.

just wait till you see where your ute will eventually push the rest of your organs. now that's funny. ha. not so much.

SaraS-P said...

Too funny!

Maybe your colon was jealous of the newly attention-getting uterus and wanted to get noticed!

Cibele said...

LOL LOL LOL.... too funny!

Aurelia said...

Well, now I'm wondering if it WAS your colon pushing your uterus up?

Anyway, it will all soon be visible enough to see, and of course, you have me thinking about my fibroid, and how I'll soon be chatting it up and rubbing it affectionately, thinking all the while that it's really my own uterus.

Baby Blues said...

You're hilarious! :-)

My Reality said...

That is hilarious!

BethH6703 said...

freakin hysterical! thanks for the giggle!

Anesha said...

Hi Nice Blog . A recent development has been the appearance of a complete, sectioned human body appearing on the World Wide Web. The Visible Human Project presents transverse CT, MRI and cryosection images of two complete human cadavers, one male and one female, at an average of 1 mm intervals inHuman Anatomy study

Bea said...

Neat! Thanks for the link.

Bea

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