I am woken from my fitfull snooze by an overwhelming sense of dread. "What have we done?" I ask myself. "We've made a hard thing harder. We've increased our chances of failure." And my eyes flutter open in alarm.

They meet the black of the sky, and a smattering of lights twinkling far below. I am hanging somewhere over the islands of Indonesia, between the choice I have committed to and the consequences I will have to bear. And I sigh, relieved, because I realise this feeling is normal, or in other words meaningless.


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The eagle has landed, dawdled around the streets and idled at the hotel. Now she's vaguely wondering what to do next. Willing to take requests.

In cycle news: it's 1-2dpo and we're waiting to see what sort of luteal phase we get this time. I'm currently choosing to believe all our luteal phase troubles are behind us, but tune in for progesterone-fueled angst as the week progresses.


5 Comments

Jules said...

I'm happy to hear you arrived safely.

Would you believe, after my mid LP spotting of previous cycles, last cycle, I had nothing. Zip, nil naught, none. Sometimes you wonder don't you.

I hope the northern hemisphere, treats you better than the southern. Maybe your body just had to be aligned, with the longitudes & latitudes of the world. I'm thinking out loud again aren't I...

Mental note, don't think when adding comment to another blog.

Good to have you back Bea.

Vee said...

Hey Bea,

I think your little freak out is very normal. You have made a huge transformation in your life.
Try and enjoy your self and then get into what needs to be done....if you can that is, if you have the time.

And don't forget to take lots of pics :)

It will be interesting to see what the LP does.

Lut said...

Back on solid ground! Good, good.
I second the request for pictures.

Carly said...

Hi Bea.
Glad to see you are safe in Singapore with Mr Bea. I bet he missed you.
Carlyxxx

serenity said...

Really glad to hear you've made it safe and sound.

I third the request for pictures - I heard that Singapore was beautiful once you got out of the airport... course, I never got very far from the airport, so I'd LOVE to see pics!

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