I've been
Catheterised, cannularised,
Anaesthetised,
Overhyperstimulated and hospitalised,
Then paracentesised
And I want to
Do it again,
I like it.

I've shed blood
Mucous and tears,
Delivered cum,
Pissed
And spread my legs
Entered by unyielding apparatuses
And I beg you to
Shit on me again
It's fun.

I've gained,
Loved, lost
First lonely,
Now alone
And still with more to lose
Come get it -
Take it from me,
Yes!
I dare you.

Don't finish with me yet
I'm stripped
And naked
But there's still my flesh
My eyeballs
And my soul
And when you think it's over
Watch me bending,
Pleading,
"Please sir,
Please, I want another."


11 Comments

Bea said...

I just want to say thankyou for all the comments on the last post. They meant a lot. Er... really a lot. You see? I'm a little lost for words.

News Today:

1. After a long chat, it has been decided that the hysteroscopy/curette does not measure up to a detailed risk/benefit anaysis. So it's more medical management (ie a different drug protocol) but we'll do it next time if we run into any more problems.

2. We're sticking to single transfer, at least until we can get a cycle to run normally (ie lining not breaking down during the luteal phase, preventing implantation). No good wasting both those embryos.

Although we must admit, at this point, that our embryos are crap, probably due to OHSS, possibly due to something else (see point 3, below), so that whole thing where we hoped not to do another full cycle is going the same way as the thing where we thought we might get pregnant by having sex. I think I can get over it, except that:

3. The scariest of the other testing for this month is the Sperm Chromatin Structure Assay (SCSA) which is scary because there ain't nothin' you can do about a poor result, 'cept cry.

Riddle For The Day
What do you get, when you have crap cycles and crap embryos?

Go on... guess.

I hope you can read between the lines and see I'm actually feeling better.

Bea

Mel said...

Oh Bea (((((HUGS))))

Vee said...

Good to hear....bring it on hey !

StellaNova said...

I think I'm just a few days ahead. The good felings come and go ... but having at least a plan can help. I'm not sure I have too much of one at the moment, but I know it's not the end of my choices, so I still have hope.

We keep moving forward (and asking for more!).

xx

soralis said...

Good luck!

Sending you a big hug!

Beagle said...

Well put.

GZ said...

Sad, but true.

Hang in there bea. Good luck!

ankaisa said...

Ah, nothing really sucks like crappy embryos. I hope the answer can be found, altough I am aware it's not that easy.

Meg said...

What an awesome title, Bea. Love it. x

flygirl said...

That gave me goosebumps.

Just another Jenny said...

I agree with fly, goosebumps. What an unbelievalbe description of your journey.

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