There's only so many ways you can compose a post to say, "Nup." I have, therefore, largely refrained. Today, however, I had a marginally more exciting stretch and sweep and we discussed booking an induction in case that doesn't work. (The receptionist was supposed to ring me back to tell me which day we were going to make that, exactly, only she hasn't, so I'll have to chase her tomorrow. Sometime towards the end of the week, only, hopefully not because hopefully things will happen before we get to that point.)

Here's the thing. Last time, as you probably don't recall, I had the stretch and sweep and the prostin gel at the same time and it all kicked off nicely. This time BOB says there's no point in using the gel because the cervix is already nice and soft and ready to go (apparently he can stretch my cervix out to 4cm without any trouble at all, by which I presume he meant trouble on his part) so the gel won't really won't add anything to a stretch and sweep. And I'm sure he's not making that up or anything. He doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who likes to make up medical facts for fun, or because he's too lazy to ask someone where they keep the prostin and can he grab some, please.

But it's hard to shake the thought that it worked so well last time and I guess I'm just not a big fan of going straight from here to ARM or a pitocin drip and I'm wondering... can it hurt to humour the batty patient? So I'm rehearsing a little speech in my head where we do it anyway, just for fun, just in case it's the mystery ingredient my body needs to nudge it into labour, and see where that takes us for an hour or two (it worked within an hour or two last time) and then we can maybe move on with his plan if need be. It can't be - in fact, it isn't, from what he told me about the reasons for his running over an hour late this morning - the craziest thing he's heard all week.

At the same time, if he's right and it wasn't actually the gel last time (and my body responds similarly this time) then I should be in labour any moment now from the stretch and sweep alone. It's not completely out of the question - although I have to say I'm not obviously in labour like I was this many hours after the stretch+sweep+gel combo of yore - because I have been having haphazard... cramps? dare I say contractions? often enough to call Mr Bea home early from work and help out with the bedtime routine. Not because I am physically incapacitated, as such, but because the cramps are strong enough that I am getting rapidly fed up with being crashed into, pestered, pummeled, whined at, or otherwise interfered with in the middle of them. I mean, heaven forbid I try to close my eyes and breath deeply during a particularly sharp one. I will instantly get my eyes poked and Somebody will shout in my ear, "Mum! Mum! Don't pretend to sleep, Mum! Muuuuuuum!" and after several hours of this sort of thing I was starting to go... well, it was ruining my Zen. So Mr Bea is doing teeth cleaning and I am taking a break and he will finish off his last hour of work from home later on, when all is a little more peaceful and icecreamful.

Which is something that will only happen if I duck off now to acquire said icecream.

I'll let you know if anything escalates, or if someone calls me back with an induction date, or whatever. 40w8d, and heading for the end game...