You guys know how inconvenient ART is. It's not a question. I know you know. But it never ceases to amaze me how those around us - even those you think have been made to understand - fail to catch on.

Example 1:

Mr Bea's Dad: So - I thought I might drop by in June. Is that good for you guys?

Mr Bea: We, er, don't know. Bea? How good might June be?

Bea: Let's see... based on our history so far that's FET#5 in Feb, FET#6 in March/April, then May/June is either FET#7 but could equally be IVF/ICSI#2... actually I'd say June is bad. Of course, FET#5 could bomb so badly that IVF/ICSI#2 happens in Feb/March, or else we could still be plugging away doing FET#12 of IVF/ICSI#1 sometime in December, though that's extremely unlikely. It's hard to say.

Mr Bea: Or you could get pregnant. For real this time.

Bea: Oh. Yeah.

Mr Bea to his Dad: Um - did you get any of that? Well, to summarise it's probably best if you ask us again in May...

Example 2:

Bea: So, Mum, I'm coming home for another cycle in February.

Bea's Mum: February? When in February?

Bea: I don't really know. Maybe mid? I'll know the dates once I ovulate in January. It's kind of weird giving you specific detail about my ovulation dates, by the way.

Bea's Mum: But we're going away in February! And it's booked! And can't be unbooked! Now I feel bad in case we miss you! You're really not sure when?

Bea: Really not sure, plus it's no big - if I miss you in Feb it's sadly quite likely I'll see you in March/April. I can't have everyone I know trying to plan their holidays around our cycles, that gets silly.

Bea's Mum: But then we'll miss you in February!

Bea: Like you'll miss me in January.

Bea's Mum: Oh, I wish I knew when to plan things!

Bea: Yup. And me, babe*.

Bea's Mum: Is Mr Bea coming?

Bea: No, he won't be coming unless I actually, physically need him**.

Bea's Mum (surprised): Oh? Why not?

Bea: Because it's not practical, or even possible, for him to take two weeks off in every six, that's why. It's the same reason I'm not going to be able to hold down a full-time job here. We've been through this.


One day perhaps they'll understand, just like you do.

*I might not have actually referred to my mother as "babe".

**Even then we have frozen sperm as back-up, but we'd like to use fresh, especially the new, vitamin-enhanced fresh stuff coming our way*** in 2007. Also, remind me to tell you Mr Bea's fly-day semen-dash story sometime. Unless I already did.

***No pun intended.


Jules said...

I doesn't matter how many times you tell them, they can never comprehend it.

I've told my manager on many times, that I will need some time off. "Well put in a holiday from" she says. 'But I don't know the exact dates'. "You must. It's not that hard".

Hmmm, if only it wasn't.

ColourYourWorld said...

It is hard enough organising our own lives around ART and they expect us to organise theirs as well... I don't think so.

Look forward to hearing Mr Bea's flyday semen dash story. One thing we have never had to deal with except for the initual one, sample taken at home and dash to the lab with sample in bag under arm.

Lut C. said...

Tell me about it. I'm trying to figure out when we want to go on holiday this year.
Last year we snuck in a last-minute between cycles. This year I want to go on a planned holiday.

Serenity said...

Ugh - what a fun conversation. Both of them. Sucks.

Hopefully FET #5 will work in February and you won't have to worry about any more scheduling.


beagle said...

Horrors! If I had to figure my parents schedules into this too! I can barely manage my own schedule.

I have had similar conversations however trying to plan things, even with my husband.

Good Luck to you and here's hoping your ovaries will play nice and make it so that you see your mum! But if not, that this works asap and this is all a mute worry soon!

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