Short Version: Another appointment, everything fine, officially at term now with SOB saying he doesn't mind when I go into labour from here on in. I discuss my labour preparations.

"I don't know why the prenatal class teacher spent so long drilling us on pelvic floor exercises," I said to Mr Bea the other night. "Every time The Foetus headbutts my bladder I get practice pretty much automatically!"

"Er... yes," he answered, awkwardly. "Is that the kind of bawdy, intimate humour you have girlfriends and a blog for?"

Based on that conversation, I'm supposing he doesn't want to hear about the evening primrose oil capsules I've decided to stick up my neveryoumind. Do you want to hear about the evening primrose oil capsules I've decided to stick up my neveryoumind? Wouldn't be the worst thing you've read on the blogs today, would it?

I've got these evening primrose oil capsules. I've heard you should stick them up your neveryoumind on a daily (or is it twice daily?) basis, starting from about thirty-six weeks or as soon as you get around to it afterwards. Ideally, this should be combined with perineal massage, which is something else Mr Bea would be embarrassed to discuss, although I would like to point out that he's man enough to actually do what he has to do. (It was the same all through fertility treatments. We have this unspoken agreement that the sperm samples he obtained in the clinic "men's room" were produced more or less by magic.)

But bless him he will, for example, brew up a nice hot cup of rasberry leaf tea, which he doesn't like talking about either, but that's more because it bores him. So I've got the rasberry leaf tea, the pelvic floor exercises, the perineal massage, and the evening primrose oil up the neveryoumind, but I am in two minds about one matter: sex. You see, I've heard that the prostaglandins in semen are most efficiently absorbed through the gut. Then again, you won't get any perineal massage or pelvic floor workout that way, will you? Things to ponder. And perhaps to discuss, but only with girlfriends and blogpeople.

So have I missed anything?


ColourYourWorld said...

I must remember to seek your advice if I ever get to your stage. Evening primrose oil up your neveryoumind ? I learn something new every day.

Yes probably best to stick with girlfriends and blogpeople Mr Beas reaction is a perfectly natural blokey one ;)

Rachel Inbar said...

Term?!? Totally awesome! Congratulations!!!

IMO, the pelvic floor is unquestionably more important... (In any case, I only heard about prostaglandins helping to induce labor when near the cervix - and even that, apparently, is only if you're going to go into labor anyway (otherwise, very few women would be overdue).)

Nothing I tried to do to induce labor ever worked... but I really do believe (and this is probably why I was calm even in my 42nd week) that babies born close to your due date (or shortly thereafter) are easier, more developed babies.

How's the bag coming along?

Caro said...

Really? Evening primrose oil capsules up there? Hmmm maybe I should add some to my shopping list, I was already planning to look for some raspberry leaf tea.

Barb said...

I chuckled out loud at the samples being produced by magic. We have a similar sort of agreement. DH also prefers that we agree that my knowing my cervical position when waiting for ovulation is an instance of psychic ability. It works well I think. ;-)

megan said...

sigh. the store was OUT of red raspberry tea last night. don't people know that it doesn't even taste good? do i live in a neighbourhood filled with people desperate to "tone" their utes? i'm on my last cup this morning...

i too have heard about the prostaglandins being absorbed through the gut...babycentre i think. too bad that i just can't even go there right now.
so happy to hear you're at term -- if you have any other gems for coaxing baby out, please share! i'm ready!

Jess said...

I gotta admit. There will be no semen being absorbed through MY gut. Pregnant or otherwise.

And when I was pregnant, notsomuch absorbed through ANYWHERE to tell you the truth! Ow!

You're getting SO CLOSE. I'm so excited for you!

MrsSpock said...

I totally admit to giving Mr S the first couple bouts of nooky he's had since- what?- December? these past two weeks. Just in case. And there is a box of respberry leaf tea on my kitchen counter. Never heard of EPO in the wookie though. Been doing kegel exercises since the beginning- which has done squat for my dribbling tinkle. I have to wear an incontinence pad or I end up smelling like a pee-soaked nursing home patient...sigh.

Anonymous said...

I have never heard that swallowing can bring on labour. I find that very interesting.

Now if you told Mr. Bea that you needed to do this to help bring things along, would he protest?

JW said...

Bea, I'm so damn excited for you girl! Almost there! Hopefully one of your methods will work, none of them did for me but she came when she was ready. Can't wait to meet your littly!

beagle said...

Just FYI: a MAN posted that rumor about the gut absorption thing.

I'm pretty sure.

Geohde said...


Evening Primrose Oil, eh? You mean just when I think I'm done with sticking things up my neveryoumind in the goal of attaining and supporting pregnancy that I'll have even MORE things to shove up there come the third trimester?


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