You guys rock. You really do. Things are much clearer to me now than they were this time last week, although I'm sure it won't last. Luckily, we've written it all down. And now, for what it's worth, I want to tell you what I've learned.

I've learned that, in this uncertain world of infertility, it's impossible to set the rules ahead of time. Saying you'll quit after cycle X, or you'll do as much as it takes, no matter what, is a recipe for anxiety - as is any other rule about how you'll react on a given day, or to a given situation. There's enough worry without the fret over whether you'll be able to follow through on your self-made promises. And that's not to say you should throw out all your standards - but you need to give yourself permission to take it as it comes.

As for the short game, the flash points where everything is an overwhelming crisis - they're going to come and go. You may be able to identify a pattern, or a situation that sets you off, or you may be struck down without warning. Whatever the case, you need to ride them out, nothing more. Analysing and problem solving mean nothing here. The only thing that counts is your ability to distract and de-stress. Meditation or exercise, whatever music puts you in a better frame of mind, breathing exercises, or busying yourself with some sort of achievable task - whether work or recreation - can tide you over until the panic subsides. Until it's time to make the next choice; to roll the next set of dice.

And if you're ever wondering why, and there's no logical answer, try picking up a coin. Weight it on one side, according to your prognosis and the number of embyos you're transferring. Then flip. Because the universe plays just such a mystical game of chance.

If anyone still has any bullet-proof coping strategies they just have to share, you just have to share them. I can't speak for anyone else, but I'll be reading.


ColourYourWorld said...

Bea. I have been part of your analysis but I have been reading and have learnt a lot myself. Thank you.

I am looking forward to reading more from others on coping strategies. Most of the time I have no idea how I cope. Actually I not sure that I am.

Lut C. said...

That was an interesting set of posts. One for the Keep folder. :-)

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