Last night we played hypotheticals.

Bea: Ok, what if, ok... you had an identical twin brother.

Mr Bea: And...?

Bea: Well, you're both genetically identical, but an adolescent illness left you infertile and he unscathed.

Mr Bea: Boy, was I unlucky.

Bea: Well, in one sense, yes. But in another sense - check out the option of using your genetically identical twin brother as a sperm donor! He said yes, by the way.

Mr Bea: Oh absolutely.

Bea: You'd have no problem with that?

Mr Bea: None at all. If the IVF/ISCI failed, I'd be there in a flash.

Bea: If...?

Mr Bea: The IVF... well, you know.

Bea: But not instead?

Mr Bea: Well...

Bea: Keeping in mind, of course, my family history of breast cancer, the fact I spent ten days in hospital with ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, my needle phobia, the expense, the inconvenience, the heartache and anguish and did I mention the genetically identical and limitless supply of fresh donor sperm?

Mr Bea: Isn't there something about mitochondrial DNA?

Bea: I'm pretty sure that only applies to artificial cloning techniques.

Mr Bea: Huh.

I regard him steadily for a moment and he squirms with discomfort.

Mr Bea: You know, this is all so hypothetical, after all. I mean, hypothetically, we would actually capture a unicorn and fly on its back to the Magic Cloud Palace where we would drink of the Elixir Of Fertility And Eternal Life.

Bea: I see.

Mr Bea: Anyway, I made you dinner.

Bea: No, let's stick with this. This is interesting.

Very interesting...


Bea said...

I'm sure there's a reverse scenario here, in which I develop premature ovarian failure and am given the option of doing an IVF cycle or using the eggs of my identical twin sister, who is more than happy to donate, and will suffer no pain or complications which we know in advance through... I don't know... highly accurate tarot card readings.

Want to play?


Meg said...

What about if they pioneer an amazing new technology that allows them to actually clone sperm cells so that we have more than say, 100 of them, or maybe even take some of my husband's DNA from a skin cell or something and inject it into someone elses sperm to change its genetic structure.

ColourYourWorld said...

Hypothetically we would all be fertiles.
If there is any room on the back of that unicorn I would like to hitch a ride.


soralis said...

I'm with vee on that one... Fertiles all a round in a hypothetical world! Of course there would be no more dumb comments either

MAX said...

How many people can fit on a unicorn ?

Bea said...

Meg - hopefully that one won't always be a hypothetical. Love the new pic, by the way!

To everyone else: I think, hypothetically, an infinite number of people can fit onto a hypothetical unicorn. First person to catch one ride by and pick the others up?


StellaNova said...

They make it so hard sometimes. As you know,AB and I have been having our moments. But I know they're doing the best they can. Sometimes, it's just not as good as we want them to.

In my hypothetical world, we are all as fertile as we want to be, we can all have pet unicorns, politicians don't exist, and neither do genetic or other diseases.

Or maybe, all politicians could become unicorns?

I have often thought about my sister if the problem turns out to be with my eggs. She doesn't know about this, of course, but she's in my radar.

Bring on the unicorns.

Dramalish said...

Just tell him, "Yes, I'm writing the Magical Island via unicorn idea down... we'll try it right after donor sperm."

This journey is so hard... but you are a riot, you know that? I hope it's okay to get a laugh from this.

Powered by Blogger.