tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25184159.post7652574782671771522..comments2023-08-26T01:04:43.031+10:00Comments on Infertile Fantasies: The Un-silent DonorBeahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11877513815828460269noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25184159.post-48618672670040900222015-11-26T12:51:04.632+10:002015-11-26T12:51:04.632+10:00Jess - that sounds intense! Funny how many differe...Jess - that sounds intense! Funny how many different angles there are on the same process, it's true. Each family has their own unique context to deal with, and their own unique personalities dealing with it. Let me know if you want to talk or anything.Beahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11877513815828460269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25184159.post-13635445978757376852015-11-26T05:26:41.537+10:002015-11-26T05:26:41.537+10:00This is close to my heart now, as my husband and I...This is close to my heart now, as my husband and I are in the decision-making process to donate our embryos through an adoption program, while simultaneously in the adoption process ourselves, waiting to be matched with an expectant mother. So much to think about, so many pieces to this process, so many different ways to just process the process itself (if that makes any sense at all). Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25184159.post-63745622659850693582015-11-21T19:25:51.757+10:002015-11-21T19:25:51.757+10:00(I hadn't necessarily drawn the distinction my...(I hadn't necessarily drawn the distinction myself.)Beahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11877513815828460269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25184159.post-56445020519914176082015-11-21T19:24:59.969+10:002015-11-21T19:24:59.969+10:00Thanks Lori. Yes, thanks for making the distinctio...Thanks Lori. Yes, thanks for making the distinction between openness and contact. It may seem a small thing, but it's actually a big difference. There are such a range of ways people tackle these situations.Beahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11877513815828460269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25184159.post-36195760690825144492015-11-21T19:22:49.173+10:002015-11-21T19:22:49.173+10:00Dora - thanks so much for leaving your comment. It...Dora - thanks so much for leaving your comment. It's great to hear of your experience from the other side. I feel very comforted by it.<br /><br />Beahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11877513815828460269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25184159.post-61580414016121852962015-11-21T08:14:15.864+10:002015-11-21T08:14:15.864+10:00I've begun to talk about openness with the com...I've begun to talk about openness with the communities in 3rd party reproduction, bringing them what we now know about the benefits of openness in adoption and how they might apply that in their situations (caveat: openness ≠ contact). The more I come to understand the various permutations and complexities, the more respect I have for people like you who make these really hard decisions.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25184159.post-70917267128705189802015-11-21T07:39:25.575+10:002015-11-21T07:39:25.575+10:00As the recipient of donor embryos (created with an...As the recipient of donor embryos (created with an egg donor), I have been reading along. As grateful as I am for the enormous gift I was given, I've always felt unsure that I could have done the same if the situation was reversed. In our situation the donor pulled back from contact once my daughter was born. I think the reality of it was harder than she expected. I maintain contact with an annual holiday card, but I'm not pushing more. My daughter is almost 6, and has not asked about contact. I hope that if/when she wants contact, it will be okay. She knows her story, and knows she has a brother and sister. She also knows that it's her story to tell or not tell. That if someone asks if she has brothers or sisters, it's okay to say no if she doesn't want to elaborate. That it's not really a lie, as in our immediate family, she's an only child. But sometimes she's very matter of fact about it. Recently, she responded to the question by saying, "Yes, I have a brother and sister. They live with their mom in Canada."<br /><br />Certainly I can't speak for all embryo donor recipients, but I think about the generosity of my donor every day. In my daughter's room hangs a quilt my donor made for her. When we talk of her origins, I always speak of the love involved. I explain that "Aunt K" had difficulty getting pregnant, and needed a "helper egg lady," so she knew how I felt, wanting to be a mom so very much. And she wanted to help.<br /><br />So glad you were able to find people to talk to. I wish you much peace with this decision.Dorahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16255190971670471758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25184159.post-25751169866115643412015-11-16T13:03:18.852+10:002015-11-16T13:03:18.852+10:00I'm glad I was able to help you connect with a...I'm glad I was able to help you connect with a few people! MrsSpockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10792687516201324640noreply@blogger.com